At times this blog is difficult for me to write but I am going to keep on doing it because not only does it help me to a certain agree but I would have given anything years ago to come across something like this to know I was not alone.
However, I try very hard to not think about my pain and even despise the word….pain….four letters that define hell. This blog for me is difficult because it does force me to use the word pain and relive stories and memories that are very emotional. I do not like to talk about chronic pain (ask any of my friends or relatives!) For years many people have begged me to open up about chronic pain but I never budged. I still probably will not talk about it to people because writing and talking for me are very different. I can write about anything and leave it there but talking about it causes me such stress and anxiety. The more I talk about pain the more I think about pain. It is a downward spiral.
If you know anyone with chronic pain understand that they are probably not lazy ( in fact most persons I have ever met with chronic pain were the opposite with lazy) and definitely not crazy. It is not in their heads. I’m not saying I’m not slight crazy (good crazy though….normality bores me) but I am not crazy regarding chronic pain.
Looks can be deceiving. This is just the beginning of my story and this blog and I just hope I can help people suffering from chronic pain not feel alone. Even if I can reach one person and change their day, I’ll be happy. And all this blogging about that awful four letter word will be worth it.