ANTS…not a fan of those little bugs that crawl into every crevice of our kitchen in the dead of summer. I’m also not a fan of this acronym: Automatic Negative Thoughts. Yea, they really piss me off. I look pretty happy in this picture but my brain is a buzzin. My best friend asked me recently how I control negative thoughts. In a short answer: I don’t….well not well anyways.
Growing up my dad called me a worry wart (why the hell is it a wart?? Never occurred to me until now how bizarre that term is.) Anyways, I was a worrier since I was a very tiny person. I would call my dad in my room at night at least ten times asking for another glass of water, or to scratch my back, or lie saying I was cold and needed more blankets. I had negative thoughts falling asleep as a kid. And that was way before my bike accident. I definitely had legit worries as a child but I am sure 80 plus percent of them had no basis in reality.

So what do we do with our negative thoughts. I personally deal with my negative thought the way I deal with my chronic pain….distractions, distractions, distractions. Hence, why in the morning I head outside for a run or why at night I watch fun reality tv that makes my life look pretty good, or read a book. I’m fortunate in that I enjoy many things that get my mind off of things.

However, there are those times when my legs are too sore to run, or the weather is awful, or I just cannot escape from my brain. I’ll be honest…way too often I give into these damn A.N.T.S and end up in a really anxious, depressed, pissed off mood. There are different tools that I need to start utilizing more often but are difficult with a toddler with you full time. I have tons of meditation cd’s that helped me tremendously. I never thought they did but over time I began to see myself worrying less. Louise Hay is one of my favorite speakers and her positive affirmation meditations actually do help. I’m a huge fan of the Vortex. If you do not enjoy reading there is a great CD one can listen to that is very easy to understand and relate to. Go to Amazon and order yourself a Louise Hay CD and/or the Vortex. Trust me, money well spent! To practice what I am “preaching” I am going to start listening to the Vortex speakers again tomorrow as it is not a meditation and I can do while driving.
We allll suffer from negative thoughts. and sometimes they are very difficult to escape. Unfortunately, near impossible. Just try and remember the things you have worried about in the past and whether or not it worked out. I’m guessing it did. Not always, but most of the time the things we worry about do not end up happening. It is so cliché, but the more positive we think the more positive things will come to us.
When all else fails, get yourself a pen and some paper and start writing your worries and negative thoughts down. Get that shit out of your head and on paper. Take that piece of paper, and bunch it up in a ball and throw it in the trash. Get it out!

I am still in the process of working on the ANTS in my head. I struggle with this on a daily basis. Even knowing I have people I love going through things that I personally cannot even fathom, I still worry about the little things. And as big as they may seem, they are little. Stay on this journey with me. I am full of knowledge and always searching for more regarding pain, anxiety, motherhood, and just life in general.




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