No One Understanding

During some of the darkest years of my battle with chronic pain I actually got excited when I got the flu or a sinus infection. I’m sure this sounds crazy to most people. Bear with me! Every morning I woke up in pain and stayed in pain all day surrounded by people but feeling more loneliness than I can ever describe. People were tired of hearing me bitch about being in pain and no one could understand or help me. The loneliest feeling in the world is being in constant pain and having not one person understand.

When I got an actual “sickness” people could understand like a sinus infection I was on cloud nine! YES! I may get flowers as we all know, no one gets flowers for chronic pain. And YES! I can tell people I have a sinus infection and they will understand and look I have a prescription for an antibiotic and yellow mucus so I am not making this up. People had sympathy and empathy for my sinus infection and no one secretly knew that I was actually happy to have a sickness people could relate to. You have to be in a really shitty place in your life to be happy to get sick.

Ya know how I know I am in a much better place now then I was then? I NEVER want to get sick! I despise sinus infections and stomach aches. I hate being on antibiotics and rarely will go to the doctor if I get sick. I just use my netti pot, rest, and eat soup. I do not like being sick and when I forget how far I have come I definitely remember when I get a stomach virus or something because it makes me really annoyed because I am finally enjoying my life even with chronic pain.

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No One Understanding

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