Oh how I wish I could have a received a letter when I was in my early twenties dealing with the unanswered questions chronic pain left me with. I wish I could tell that person that everything would be okay….not always great but at least okay. I thought for a long time that I wanted to die and give up because not one person could figure out how to “fix” my chronic pain. I never thought I would become a social worker, become a wife, or a mother. I worried day and night that because of my chronic pain I would be alone and depressed forever. I did not even believe I would be able to enjoy reading a book or watching a movie ever again. There is so much I want to tell my younger self that would have made my life so much easier but obviously that is impossible.
Today, September 7th, 2013 I am filled with many worries and concerns about my future. I am so grateful for where I have come in life and the struggles I have battled and won but I worry about my future all the time. I worry what the next few hours hold some days….not just the next few weeks and months. I know the older Jessica would probably write me a letter telling me to STOP worrying! Enjoy what you have now, Jessica. Be proud of yourself. Things are only get better. Everything is going to work out just the way it is supposed to. Enjoy today, enjoy the weather, enjoy your beautiful daughter. Don’t waste another ten years of your life worrying about what you assume may or may not happen.
Maybe we should all write ourselves a letter telling ourselves everything will be ok. Because it will. Even if our future selves do not find this letter, it may help just for today. Write down your worries and concerns and maybe that will help you enjoy what you have at this very moment. Sometimes all we do need to do is just breathe, and know things are ok.