As I get older and hopefully, wiser I have learned that it is not the quantity of people in my life, but the quality of those people in my life. Once I learned how to manage my chronic pain naturally and started living a much different lifestyle then I had before I learned to cope with chronic pain naturally I lost a lot of friends and loved ones. People did not understand this “new Jessica” who did not go out for drinks to all hours of the night or who decided that she had to focus on doing yoga/meditation at least once a day. I understand why I lost touch with a lot of people in my life. The people who truly know the real me know that my personality, my silliness, my inner self has not changed at all. And the people that have always loved me were proud of the changes I made years ago. As I wrote in a previous post, my two closest friends I have had since I was twelve years old are still my closest friends. They are sisters to me.
There were people in my life that I still care for but I had to let go of. I was leading a life they did not understand and I had to let anything negative in my life go. I do not have time for “drama” or negative energy around me. I no longer want that and it serves no purpose in my life. I would rather spend a day alone then be with someone who will bring me down.
It has taken me a long time to get to a point where I know who is a positive in my life and who is a negative in my life. People may not agree with everything I do but if they know and love me I expect them to support me and you should too.
Chronic pain forces people to make choices and changes in their lives people without chronic pain will never have to make. For me I just do not make it an option anymore. If someone is bringing me down or doesn’t support how I live my life I keep them at arm’s length. I listen to my inner wisdom and know what is best for myself and my family.
The people I love most in this world do not have chronic pain and I pray never will and I do not talk about it with them but they know. I think my daughter who is only a year and a half can tell when I’m realllllly “faking it until I make it.” Kids have amazing intuition. The people I love most in this world will never truly understand what I go through on a daily basis but they support my choices and love me for the person I am. That is enough for me!