I had to read this quote multiple times to make it truly click with how it relates to my life and chronic pain. Experience truly is my teacher. Experience is all of our teachers. We either learn from experience or we do not, that is up to us.
For starters experience taught me to wear a bicycle helmet, sounds very silly, but if I had been wearing a helmet I most likely would have not had brain surgery and therefore may have never experienced chronic pain. My daughter and future children will have to learn from the experience of my bike accident and I think knowing their mom experienced brain surgery that left her life altered forever will give them the boost they need to wear helmets even if it doesn’t “look cool.”
I had over ten years of experience searching for a cure to chronic pain: undergoing multiple surgeries, hundreds of doctors, and later in life declaring medical bankcrupcy as during some of my search for the cure to my chronic pain I did not have health insurance and other times specialists did not accept insurance. Took a lot of experience in waiting rooms and many nights of tears to learn that I had to learn how to manage my chronic pain naturally.
Some of my negative experiences with chronic pain did not teach me the lessons I needed to learn for long term, until now. Three times I went back to medications to help with chronic pain following my stay at the Mayo Clinic. I knew what would happen but the pain won over my intuition and self worth/knowledge. Three times the charm right? Never again! It took my last experience with taking medication for chronic pain to throw me over the edge. Going through withdrawl alone with no help from doctors is one of the hardest things I have ever done and I would never recommend anyone doing that. It isn’t always safe and it took every amount of strength and faith I had to get through it. I wanted my life back and taking medicine for pain was making me lose myself. That experience was my hardest yet best teacher.
It took a terrible miscarriage on February 2nd, 2011 to teach me that sometimes everything does happen for a reason. Going through that D & C was something beyond painful. Miscarriages are common but that does not make them any easier. Kayci was born February 2nd, 2012. A year to the day we lost our son. He is her guardian angel. My husband said once that Kayci’s older brother was looking out for her. If he had been born, Kayci never have been in this world. The same doctor who performed my D&C delivered my daughter one year later to the day. That experience, as awful as it was taught me that everything does happen for a reason. I forget this lesson a LOT but it is true.
Experience as my teacher will continue to test me. Some of the lessons I will learn right away and some may take a few experiences. Experience has taught me above anything else that things truly do happen for a reason and that everything always works out in some way or another. Experience, you are the most difficult teacher but you are also the best.