In my previous post I explained how my night and morning were rough, emotionally and physically. This picture was taken shortly after I posted that. My pain was still there, I was still exhausted and my worries were there but I decided to stop dwelling on them and get outside again. It is beautiful in NJ this week and there is nothing my daughter likes more than to be outside. So I took control of my brain and therefore my pain and marched on to happiness. Hearing my daughter’s laughter as she rolls down the slide is enough to make me be happy and grateful.
When we got home instead of doing the list of chores I had planned for the rest of the afternoon I said “screw it” and Kayci and I collected acorns outside, a hobby that she is now mildly obsessed with and for some odd reason I find soothing. There are enough acorns falling around our home to feed a thousand squirrels, its insane. Before I knew it I had forgotten about my pain and anxieties and was living in the moment. Ten minutes later my daughter said “Pop Pop” for the first time when I brought up my dad. Another new word to add to the list of her vocabulary and enough to make me even happier for this day.
My previous post is very true. It is not a bad life, it is just a bad day. But sometimes its not even a bad day, just a bad half of a day. Once you start focusing on the good and what you do have the more really does come to you. Even if it is just the simple things like seeing your one year old daughter’s face light up going down the slide or sitting in the grass collecting acorns.
You cannot tell from this picture how I am really feeling because with all those painful feelings, I am still able to be happy.