You have been the hardest aspect in my life since I was a teenager. You have haunted me for over twenty years and almost made me second guess my on this earth more than once. You, chronic pain have proved to be more difficult that brain surgery, a difficult child hood, two miscarriages, and any losses I have faced in my life. You may be invisible to others but I feel you in my life every second of every day. You were my greatest weakness for one third of my life. I did things I never would have done had I never had you in my life and spent a good portion of my life in doctor’s offices and multiple surgery tables trying to find a way to get rid of you! You came close to ruining my life forever and almost crushed any chance of happiness or any chance of my dreams coming true.
However, you chronic pain have also turned me into one of the strongest people I know. I wake up ever day (some days are worse then others and fight again.) You have not won chronic pain. I, Jessica have beat you. Because of you, chronic pain I eat healthier than most people I know and love exercise. Because of you chronic pain I practice mindfulness and meditation. Most importantly, because of you I am an extremely loving, empathetic person who appreciates the little things in life. I have more appreciation for life than I ever would have had I not had brain surgery and had I not have faced chronic pain. Today is a difficult da for me but I woke up, I did yoga, I juiced, played with my daughter and worked on the house and had laughs in between. You can continue to try to beat me down chronic pain but I will continue to wake up and start over and show you who is boss.
Chronic pain has been the worst thing to happen to me in my life, however it has given me more strength than I even realize. I am not ready to thank you chronic pain but maybe one day I will get there.