I appear on the outside to be such a strong, beautiful person, especially to people who are not extremely close to me. But, sometimes I break. We all have an inner child inside of us. Our inner child needs to be nurtured as much as our children do, at times more. Our inner child comes out the most with the people we are most comfortable with. There are some very close friends I have where I can just let go, be silly, and just randomly start dancing for no apparent reason. Having a one year old daughter helps bring out my inner child on a daily basis which is such a blessing for both her and I. I love to play with her, run with her, and just sit there making funny faces and genuinely laughing. There are so many amazing things about my inner child.
However, my inner child is also damaged in many ways in which I must work hard to fix. Growing up was hard for me at times because I was forced to take care of myself when I did not have the knowledge or tools to do so. I had to grow up very quickly. I had to learn and see things at a very young age that no child should have to see. I am thirty two years old and at times I still revert to that sad six year old who just wants to be held. I know I need to nurture my inner child and be there for her but at times I break. My daughter saw me crying this morning and she began to comfort me which only made me feel worse. I am a very strong person but even the strongest people in the world need to be held sometimes. My inner child is both my best friend and worst enemy at times. Sometimes it is hard pretending to be happy when you just want to cry. And this morning was one of those times. I am a thirty two old woman with one daughter. I have lived through things that still hurt me to think back to. I survived brain surgery and more importantly live every day of my life with chronic pain and yet am managing it naturally and being the best Jessica I can be. Do not mistake tears for not being strong. Tears are not a sign of weakness. Our inner children need to be nurtured and taken care of. As Louise Hay says: This moment is sacred, I am now ready willing, and able to embrace my inner child. All is well. Sometimes, we only have ourselves to take care of our inner child. I just finished yoga nidra and this was the mantra I used as I went into a deep meditation. And I will embrace my inner child and all is well.