My daughter and I headed to the playground today as this may be the last warm day in our area for awhile and we love nothing more than to be outside. After about an hour of meeting other parents and going down every slide ten plus times, I decided to introduce Kayci to one of the greatest things about Autumn: playing in the leaves! We were a mess: throwing leaves, jumping in leaves, and rolling around laughing. Sometimes I have to do that pretend laugh I have a journal I wrote in while I was in the Pain Rehab Center at the Mayo Clinic and it has a list of my biggest fears. My number one fear was that I would never be a mother. And here I am many years later rolling around in leaves with my one year old. Nothing is impossible!
I do not care where you are with your struggle with chronic pain or any invisible illness for that matter, anything is possible. If you saw me on the street would you believe I had a near death accident that resulted in brain surgery and chronic pain. Hell no! Many years ago, you would definitely know something was very wrong with me but not today. What is odd is that I still have that fear I will not have more children. I am sure that has a lot to do with going through two miscarriages but I know in my heart that I will give my daughter a sibling when the time is right.
I struggle every day of my life with my invisible illness but being a mother and watching dreams come true that I truly thought were impossible gives me hope that all of us can make things in our life happen that we believe are impossible. It may not be today, it may not be in a year but you will get there.