Days I'm Fighting My Hardest

People confuse me being quiet and not as sociable as I usually am with me being in a bad mood or possible being a brat. That is not it at all. It is the days I am most quiet and withdrawn that I am fighting a hard battle. Most people with chronic pain have good days and bad days. Now that I have been medication free for a long time I actually have more good days than bad. When I am quiet and just doing my own thing (with a toddler at my side) it usually means I’m just trying to get through the day the best I can with my pain level being quite high. Those are the days I work on doing yoga nidra or a form of meditation.

I may come off as being quiet and “not myself” and I hate the constant questions even from my husband that occur during difficult days such as: “what is wrong?” I am usually extra quiet and keeping to myself and my daughter because I really do not want my pain level to affect her day so I concentrate on using my energy with her. When I am quiet, I am fighting harder than ever. Yes, there is something wrong. I have chronic pain and would like to punch it in the face but I do not have that choice so I am just doing the best I can.

Do not judge anyone with chronic pain for the choices they make on how they deal with their pain. It took me a long time to get to a point of health and happiness despite being in constant pain. Remember this quote, if someone you know if suffering from chronic pain or any invisible illness and they are quiet and “not themselves” give them a pat on the back or a hug and do not ask: “what’s wrong??” Instead, you may want to say: “I get that you are having a tough time right now so just let me know if you need anything.” We all just want to be acknowledged, not judged or badgered with questions.


Days I’m Fighting My Hardest


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