My Little Mess

In the middle of my little mess, I forgot how big I’m blessed. We all can always find things to complain about or little things to worry about. Logically, I know that worrying and stressing about things that I cannot control only causes my pain levels to rise and my happiness to lower. One of my very close friends daughter has been diagnosed with Cancer and has been undergoing intensive chemotherapy for the past two months. The cancer came out of nowhere and threw my good friend and obviously her young daughter for a huge loop. My good friend’s name is Casey. I look up to her so much and have always wanted to be a mother like her. Part of the reason I named my daughter, Kayci was because of this amazing role model I have been blessed to have.

I think of Casey and her daughter on a daily basis but just yesterday we finally found time to talk. Her daughter during chemo last month got appendicitis and had to have her appendix removed. This would not be a huge deal but for someone who is undergoing intense chemo it is horrible. Casey’s daughter is showing such courage and strength and was discharged from the hospital on Halloween and even went trick or treating with some friends for a bit. I started thinking about all the things I had been worrying about: money, trying to get pregnant, student loans, and of course chronic pain. I looked down at my Kayci who was asleep and thought: how silly my worries are compared to what my friend and her daughter are going through. Now that I am a mother I know how much the love for your child takes over you. The love I have for Kayci actually hurts sometimes. I cannot imagine what my friend is going through but she is a pillar of strength and still the best mother I have ever known. Yes, my worries and concerns are legitimate but I do not want to forget how much I have and how lucky I am. I do not want to go a day without counting my blessings, the biggest one being my family especially my little girl.


My Little Mess


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