” I do not fix problems. I fix my thinking. then problems fix themselves.” Louise Hay
I saw this quote and could not really wrap my head around it however I saved it as Louise Hay is someone I truly admire and know that a lot of what she says relates to my invisible illness. A lot of our problems and concerns are out of our hands. No matter what you are having an issue with or what you are worrying about a lot of times, unfortunately there is a point you reach that it is out of your hands. My biggest problem I have had in my thirty two years on this earth is without doubt, chronic pain.
I took ten years plus doing everything imaginable to try and fix my chronic pain. I went through all the resources I could find. After that decade of my life I found that there were things I could do to manage my pain but there was never going to be a clear cut solution. As my readers know, I have many strategies that I use to manage my pain: exercise, meditation, yoga, healthy eating, distractions, etc. However, I still have chronic pain. That is a problem I will have to live with for the rest of my life. I do the work every day I need to do and manage my pain naturally, however the problem is still there. The hardest battle I have is changing my thinking about my chronic pain. I spent over ten years thinking chronic pain was going to kill me. I thought about pain from the second I woke up until I fell asleep at night and the multiple times throughout the night I would wake up. This is where my strategy of distraction comes in. On any given day I would say pain enters my mind at least a dozen times. I do not talk or ruminate about but of course it crosses my mind. Any time I see my brain begin to focus on the pain I find a distraction and literally have to change my thinking. I cannot sit and just think and think about the pain. Doing so only makes the pain worse and ruins my day. Changing your own thoughts especially when it comes to pain is beyond difficult. However, once I am able to distract myself with something else, nine times out of ten I stop thinking about the pain. The less I think about the pain, the less I feel the pain. This is the hardest tactic I use to manage my pain and yet probably the most important.
Some problems cannot be fixed. Each one of us does have the power to change our thoughts about our problems. It is hard work. I’m struggling with it now with focusing on pregnancy. For the past three days I keep thinking something must be wrong with me because I am not yet pregnant again. I am putting so much stress and focus on getting pregnant that it is consuming my mind and actually forming a problem that does not exist. I can obviously get pregnant. I have the most beautiful daughter in the world to prove that. The more I focus on “what is wrong with me” “I’ll never get pregnant” and that sort of mentality the longer it will take to get pregnant. I need to change my thinking about pregnancy and I may have to do what I do to manage chronic pain. Stop thinking so much about getting pregnant and just let things happen. Even as I write this I know how much easier this can be said then done so I understand when people suffering with chronic pain read my blog and think I’m nuts.
Changing the way you think is the most difficult thing to do in the world. However, sometimes it must be done in order to fix our problems.