Doubt causes so much stress and anxiety in everyone’s life. For over ten years I doubted I would ever be happy living with chronic pain. That doubt led to more depression, anxiety, stress, and only caused my pain to increase. I have never been a religious person. I am not sure what I believe in but I do believe in faith. I know that with faith things can happen. I had no faith for much of my life. I never believed I could be happy with chronic pain. I never believed I could cope with chronic pain in a healthy manner. I never believed I would graduate college, have my own family, or be the healthy mostly adjusted person I am today. I had zero faith on the days I laid in bed crying my eyes out for years thinking my life was doomed because of chronic pain.
Because of chronic pain and how well I have learned to manage it and all the other bad shit that has happened in my life I do have faith. It is because of my miscarriage in 2011 that my daughter is here on this earth. It is because of my daughter being a healthy little person that I have faith I will have more children. All the bad things that have happened to me have actually given me more faith in life because out of all the awful things I have experienced, amazing things have come from them. I would not wish brain surgery, chronic pain, miscarriages, difficult childhoods, etc on anyone, however all those things have given me faith that no matter what I will always be okay.
This quote is easier said then done. Doubt knocks on my door on an almost daily basis and I have such a long journey ahead of me. I would much rather send faith to the door to answer my doubt then be consumed with doubt. I read a quote recently that said: “In three words I can sum up everything I have learned in life. It goes on.” Truer words could not be said.