I was thinking today about how most of what I write to my readers is pretty heavy, serious stuff. That made me realize how much time I spend thinking about all the “serious” things in my life. Sometimes you have to throw your hands up in the air and just laugh. Sorry for my language but: shit could be worse! I am never going to say that chronic pain is not the hardest battle I have yet dealt with but shit could still be worse. Whether you have chronic pain or not, we all spend a lot of our time thinking about the negative things in our life. How much time do you spend thinking about what you do not have instead of what you do have? Even with the knowledge and wisdom I have gained in my thirty two years on life I still focus way too much energy focusing on what I do not have. No wonder so many leaders tell us to focus on gratitude and keeping a gratitude journal. We all do have something to be grateful for even if it is just a roof over our heads.
I was with a friend this week talking about Facebook. I rarely use Facebook because in a way it brings me down. I was explaining to my friend how all I see is people from my past and present living these amazing lives with incredible careers and three beautiful children and a husband who seems completely perfect. As I was going off on my distaste for Facebook my friend said: “Well Jess, people are not going to post their problems. People only put things on their Facebook page that are happy and good with their world.” Why did I not think of this? Of all people!
I did this for years! I pretended my life was perfect and everything was fine as I was falling apart on the inside and the outside. If I had used Facebook back in the day when I was in the worst stages of chronic pain I would have been posting pictures of my friends and I having a blast. People would not have known what was really going on with me. There should be a Facebook that is called: “Lets Keep it Real.” I have let the entire world see a side of me this week with my picture from years ago that even my closest friend had no clue of. Trying to be someone you are not is exhausting. Yes, I looked like shit for many years. Yes, I drank my ass off to numb the physical and emotional pain I was feeling. Yes, I thought about wanting to die multiple times in my life just to escape the pain. It is hard to say at that point in my life shit could have been worse but I can say it now. I want us all to really try and focus more on what we do have then what we do not have. Shit can always be worse! Last night I received very upsetting news regarding my mother which had I heard years ago I would have fallen apart and possibly end up at a bar with friends drowning my fears and sorrows into an empty glass. Once I heard the news, I cried off and on for a good portion of the night and slept awful but I did not fall apart. I still made dinner for my family and decorated the Christmas tree. I spent time with the people I love listening to Christmas music and focused on being positive. Today, I have been exhausted and I could throw a mini pity party and say: “Why do bad things keep happening to me!” However, shit could be worse. I need to be present for today and for my family and keep going. As you go about your weekend and something happens that makes you sad or you are having a difficult day with chronic pain try (I know it isn’t easy) to say out loud: Shit could be worse. It may put a smile on your face.