“You can’t rush something you want to last forever.” I spent so much of my life following brain surgery searching for a cure to my chronic pain. I wanted something to work right away whether that was a surgery, a medication, an acupuncture routine, or a holistic herb. I just wanted the pain to go away forever and I did not want to wait. Who would? Imagine waking up every day with the worst headache of your life and knowing that it would not go away no matter what. That headache would pound and pound all day and all night, taking away any possible joy you may have had you not had chronic pain. I spent over ten years searching for a cure. You name a medication, I have been on it. You name a procedure, I have probably undergone it. For people who do not have chronic pain and get a headache or toothache they usually reach for an Advil or Motrin and the pain is gone. To people living with chronic pain, Advil is like taking a Tic Tac only doesn’t taste as good. Of course I was in a rush to find a cure to my chronic pain, I’m human. Who the hell wants to live in pain twenty four hours a day seven days a week? Obviously that rush got me no where. I know I am supposed to say I have no regrets and what not but I do. I feel as if I truly did lose a large portion of my life in my rush to find a cure. However, I know that I did not really have a choice. I did not have the knowledge and wisdom that I do now regarding chronic pain and how I can manage it and live a happy fulfilling life despite the pain.
When I first saw this quote I was not thinking about chronic pain. If I am going to be totally honest in my blog I will tell you what I thought of when I saw this quote. I am one hundred percent ready to have another baby and for any woman who has ever gone through trying to get pregnant you can probably understand why this quote is important. When we, as humans truly want something we want it immediately. I now despise pregnancy tests and if I see just one pink line instead of two I want to break the damn test and possibly anything in the bathroom not tied down. That one line is like a person screaming: “You failed!!!! Nope Not Pregnant! Try again.” Why is that when so many people are not trying to get pregnant they do get pregnant and then people who are trying seem to have a more difficult time? The question may seem complicated but the answer really is not. When we put so much stress and pressure on ourselves to get something we want especially when it is body/mind related we often times are unable to achieve that something because of the pressure. I know we will give our daughter a sibling when the Universe is ready for us to but it does not make the wait any easier. You just cannot rush something you want to last forever. Whether that be a cure to an illness, having a child, or finding someone to spend your life with. We spend so much time rushing to the next thing, we end up not being able to enjoy what we have right now. Christmas is in just a couple days and no matter where you are in your life try and enjoy the next few days and appreciate the things you do have today even if there are so many things you wish you had right now.