“Life is really simple, but we insist on making it complicated.” It is the last day of the year 2013 and the only “resolution” I am making is to keep things in my life more simple. Most people I meet are complicating their lives to the point where their is not much luck of finding happiness.
Each morning I awake I am filled with anxiety about the past and the future. My first thoughts are rarely positive. I am either thinking about an argument I had the day before or what I will be making for dinner when the clock has barely reached six am. Most of the years of my life I was filled with thoughts of pain and how it would affect my day. It has taken me many years to not allow that to be the first thing I think of when I awake and I am very proud of that achievement. However, I still wake up in fear. There is so many things to be scared about, or are there? Whether or not a person suffers from chronic pain, most people spent an enormous amount of time and energy spent on worries.
This morning I awoke to my daughter saying: “Mommy and Emmie.” Emmie is her favorite stuffed animal. She slept in bed with me last night as my husband is visiting his family in Pennsylvania. On any other day I would rush up, get both of us dressed, throw a banana down my throat, and get us outside for a run. This morning was different. She woke me up around five am and I spent a good half hour just laying with her laughing and cuddling. We ended up going for a run but I did not rush the morning by any means. I want to enjoy what I have right now instead of worrying constantly about the future. I do not want to sweat the small stuff and end up in ridiculous arguments with the people I love. I have truly realized that most of the arguments I have with people I love revolve around acknowledgement. We all just want to be acknowledged. If I expect that from the people I love then I need to begin showing my acknowledgement instead of just thinking about it.
I am so exhausted from complicating my life and having my health suffer because of it. I swear last night I was stressing because I gave up on brushing my daughters teeth two days in a row because she fought me so hard. She has had a cold for days and brushing her teeth just was not worth the added battle. Who the hell cares? Is it really that big of deal in the grand scheme of things? I complicate everything. It is going to be a very big challenge for me to simplify my life. I am not an extravagant person and I do not need a lot to be happy. I do not need to simplify my life, I need to simplify my thoughts. That is my one resolution for the coming year.
Life really is simple. I am tired of complicating more than it needs to be.