I have come a very long way in my journey with chronic pain and anxiety, however some days are just really hard. I am sure many of you have heard of the book: “Never Have a Bad Day.” I love this book, I love the theories behind it, and I truly wish I could say that I never have a bad day. However, I am a mother who is managing chronic pain naturally and the truth is, it is truly not always easy. Aside from chronic pain, I’m human. I have not reach a point of enlightenment in which I can be at peace twenty four hours a day, seven days a week.
My almost two year old daughter was awake countless times last night. Who knows why? But, needless to say I lacked a lot of sleep and this picture can accurately define where we ended up in the middle of the night. I awoke to the fact that once again I am not pregnant and that affects me more than I let on. I had a crying fest for a while but it is very hard to have a pity party when you have a toddler to take care of. I had to snap myself out of it quickly in order to be present with her. Lets just say all the little things that could go wrong today have gone wrong. Anyone who has chronic pain knows how much stress, crying, and anger can add to someone’s pain level.
The good news! I know for a fact that tomorrow will be better because I have reached a point in my journey with chronic pain and life that I know how to turn things around quickly. Like I posted before: Shit could be worse. I am currently doing a little project on Instagram I made up called: 365 days of gratitude which I started January first. It holds me accountable each day to find something to be grateful for. Usually what I am grateful for is something very meaningful however today’s 365 days of gratitude was: Starbucks. Not only am I grateful because I do love their lattes but the gift card cheered me up as well.
Motherhood is hard. Relationships are hard. Disappointments are hard. And chronic pain is the hardest. Put all of them together I am just happy that at this moment even through my frustration, my daughter is making me smile.