“I am not what I have done, I am what I have overcome.”
I could write an entire book on all the mistakes I have made in my thirty two years on this earth. There are so many mistakes: some heartbreaking, some funny, some hard to believe. The book would be a real page turner and probably a best seller. There are mistakes I have made that I am not even ready to write about…..yet. Chronic pain and invisible illnesses cause the majority of us to make grand mistakes. Living in constant pain whether physical or emotional would cause the best of us do things the healthy versions of us would never think of. I look back now and think: how the hell am I still on this earth? How did I make it? Again, there are too many questions that we will never have the answers to. It is not what I have done, it truly is what I have overcome. I used to beat myself up on a daily basis for all the mistakes I have made and the people I have possibly hurt but I no longer do that. There are enough people in this world that will find fault with the things I have done/do, I need to be my biggest advocate. As Louise Hay says: “You have been beating yourself up your entire life, try being kind to yourself and see what happens!”
I have overcome a difficult childhood. I have overcome brain surgery. I have overcome two miscarriages. I have overcome relationships that were beyond toxic. I have not overcome chronic pain but I do live with it every day and do the very best I can. I made a choice to not take medication for pain or seek treatment and that decision was/is the hardest decision of my life. However, I will never go back. This may not be easy but it is so worth it.
I think many of us spend more time looking at the negative decisions in our lives as opposed to the positive ones. In the movie Pretty Woman (showing my age) Julia Roberts says: “People put you down enough, you start to believe everything is wrong with you. Plus the bad stuff is so much easier to believe.” Spend this weekend focusing on all the good things you do and have done. It is not the past that matters. It is this moment and this moment only. What we chose to do now is what matters the most. We truly are all doing the very best we can with the knowledge we have.