Worrying and Chronic Pain

As a small child my dad used to call me a worry wart jokingly because I worried about everything. I spent so many of my afternoons in fear of the night because I was scared I would not be able to fall asleep. In grade school I was always completely worried I would be late for class or my parents would forget to pack my lunch. Even before the age of ten I was constantly concerned certain friends on the playground liked me and thought I was a fun girl to play with. This was all before my bike accident, all before I would live a life with chronic pain. People with chronic pain often ask themselves what came first: chronic pain or anxiety as the two are so closely connected. Most people with chronic pain suffer from either anxiety or depression. After much thought and some therapy I have come to the conclusion that I have always had anxiety and chronic pain has only intensified my anxiety issues. The good news is that many of my coping strategies for chronic pain also work for anxiety: exercise, meditation, distraction, laughter, music, eating healthy, yoga, and therapy. The bad news is that just like chronic pain sometimes I have a very difficult time controlling my anxiety. This has been the case for the past few days. One of the ways you know you are suffering from anxiety is when you are so crippled by worry but have nothing in particular you are worried about. This happened to me a few nights ago and I was kind of shocked as it has been such a long time panic took over me as it did. I had put my daughter to bed, read for an hour or so and turned over my phone so as not to see the time. All of a sudden my heart started pounding and I had that awful panic feeling but I could not put my finger on anything I was worried about. I was very relieved to wake up the next morning and start over however since that night circumstances have occurred in which worry has become real. There are certain things in my life right now that I am truly worried about and yet have not much control over.

Anxiety causes pain to increase which often times causes anxiety to increase…..it is like a circle of hell. Logically, I know everything will be fine. Logically I know I need to focus on today and be so appreciative for everything I have but that worry keeps knocking on my little head. I will be honest, my biggest worry is getting pregnant: which is no secret to anyone who has been reading my blog. I realized recently that this has been a worry for me since I was a little child. I remember hearing about someone I was close to that was not able to have kids and even as a nine year old this freaked me out like nothing ever had. My dream since I was a little girl was to be a mother. Since I was nine I have had two miscarriages but also given birth to a wonderful daughter who is now two. Obviously, I am very able to get pregnant and yet I still worry. I came across this quote today and knew I had to write about worrying.

“Worrying is like praying for something you don’t want.” How true!!!!

I will snap out of this worry cycle quickly and until then I am able to enjoy life. How odd is it that if I did not have my bike accident and been suffering from chronic pain for so long I may not have the tools I need to manage my anxiety?! I am not totally ready to say I am thankful for brain surgery and chronic pain but I am at a point of being thankful for what it has taught me and the coping mechanisms I have. Chronic pain and anxiety are so connected and I am fortunate to know how to get through the hard days and hopefully able to help some (I wish all) of my readers as well.

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Worrying and Chronic Pain

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11 thoughts on “Worrying and Chronic Pain

  1. I’m sorry your having a hard day Jess!

    I often fight to figure out which came first my injury or my anxiety issues. It’s hard, because looking back at that time I see traits in myself that now I attribute only to the pain….
    Makes you kinda think eh.. Am I using the pain as an excuse not to deal with all these other things?

    And the answer is lots of times yes! I am! Because it is way effing easier to cope with the thought that this big bad injury came along and messed me all up, rather than perhaps thinking that maybe I had these isseus long before this ever came about.

    Stay strong Jess. Just remember your body will let you know when you are ready. Just spend this time enjoying how connected you get to be with your daughter now because when #2 comes a long you will be sorry you rushed it.

    Do

  2. Well you often make my day like that so mybe we’ll just be even.

    It’s so tough when people don’t get it.. and I have spent so much of my life trying to explain to people or justify my feelings or actions that it is just SOOOOOO amazing to find someone who I can say something like that to. AND YOU GET IT!

    I’m going for a big dr. appointment tomorrow….. send me some of your positivity!

    • I will send you much positivity love! Good luck Honestly do me a favor stop explaining yourself to ppl. If they love you share my blog or tell them to google chronic pain. Its imposssible to understand unless u have it. You are wasting your much needed energy, focus, strength, and positivity on ppl that (even if love u) will never get it. Ya got me! T-Mobile. America’s First Nationwide 4G Network

      noonegetsflowersforchronicpa

  3. ❤❤ Truly your blog is the Cat’s Meow ❤❤
    I can’t find the words to say
    how much your words allow me have a sigh of relief ❤❤
    I face my hourly/daily challenges with NOFLOWERSFORCHRONICPAIN attitude, nutrition, reflections, etc. AND
    I’ve found sharing your blog with friends that they identify with your words as LIFE can be challenging even without chronic pain ❤❤
    Sending LUV ❤

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