For those of you who read my post yesterday know that it has not been an easy few days. I am not going to bs my readers, I went to sleep quite frightened for what today had in store for me. I went to sleep with total anxiety and awoke with even more anxiety. I was worried about my family members, certain life events that are occurring, and my up coming fertility appointment. I had to make a phone call to my insurance company amongst other important phone calls which is beyond difficult with a two year old at your feet. The phone calls that should have taken twenty minutes lasted almost two hours. I was cut off the phone multiple times from my insurance company and my lovely daughter found a way to really get my attention and hung up on the call when I was nearly finished. At this point I may or may not have kicked a toy and yelled a curse word. I am a great mother, but I am not perfect. Following the phone calls I did a work out which helped a lot but there was still a great amount of anxiety in me. I have had a play date planned with one of my good friends for a week now and came very close to cancelling. I decided to practice what I preach and took the Nike approach: Just Do It. I am rarely afraid of doing things because of pain anymore but with everything going on in my life and my stress being so high I thought I just did not have it me to take my little girl to a place called Little Adventures (little gym for little people.) I came very close to cancelling but decided to just put my daughter in her car seat and go.
I beat you anxiety and chronic pain! We had the best day! Being around good music, laughter, dancing, and exercising was just what we needed. We ended up staying a little over three hours and it was actually the best day of my week. Just seeing my daughter so happy and active and socializing fills me with joy that is totally impossible to explain in writing. I did not think of pain or anxiety once and left with happiness in my heart.
There is a lesson in this. Most people who read my blog have anxiety or chronic pain and even if you do not there is a great lesson in this. When things are difficult and you just want to crawl into bed and cry do something. I do not always practice this but I am very happy I did today. “A bad day does not mean you have a bad life.” Now it is close to three pm: my daughter is extremely happy and getting tired, all the phone calls I was dreading making are done, and I know I did the very best I could today. Sometimes you have to put your problems aside and just enjoy the day. For me that usually entails leaving my house. I love my house but there are many more distractions outside of our home, especially with a toddler. We all have to take care of ourselves and do things for ourselves in order to help the ones we love. That is not being selfish, it is simply being smart.