“If you think you’re too small to make a difference you haven’t spent a night with a mosquito.”
I started this blog to truly share my journey with chronic pain. There are so many things and people I have hurt because of my disease and I have come a point in my life that I am able to share with the world my story and how I made it to the amazing point in my life despite my physical pain. As many of my readers know I had a miscarriage on my last birthday an it was that day that I decided to give up all medications/treatments for chronic pain forever. I never believed I could do it even though I had done it in the past. Being a mother is difficult and I was scared that without any medicine for pain I wouldn’t be able to do everything with her and our future children if I had no medication/treatment. My inner wisdom knew I would be a much better mother/friend/wife and person if I stopped pain medication and any/all doctor visits but I was crippled with fear. However, I did make that choice on June 7th, the day I turned thirty two and I began my journey of living with chronic pain naturally again. My inner wisdom was correct, per usual and I am in a great place.
I see a therapist and have for years who specializes in chronic pain/anxiety. She has a holistic approach to her practice and she has become much more than a therapist to me. We are quite close and even text one another on a weekly basis. The week after my miscarriage I went to see her to tell her the choice I had made. I know she sees so many patients but I have never seen such a proud face from someone in my life. She was in utter shock that I was able to take myself off of my medication and make this decision with no help from anyone (I do not recommend people doing this without doctor’s help.) I am a medical social worker by trade so knew what I had to do and had a week of hell but came out much stronger. My therapist looked at me and said; “Jessica, you have to get your story out there. You have to let the world know they can do what you have done. This is your calling.” I barely heard what she was saying because although I knew it was my calling I had zero clue how to reach people. I didn’t even own a computer. Two weeks later I bought myself a lap top and just started writing and here I am. To be totally honest, I did not believe I would make any difference in anyone’s life. I wasn’t writing for me, I truly wanted/want to help people. Months later I can see and hear that I am making a difference, quite small but I am reaching people who need hope/help and that is huge to me. I want this small difference to turn into a big difference. I saw a quote recently that said: “The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the moment you realize why.” I cannot remember the day I was born but I now know why.