“Perhaps the hardest thing I have learned and still struggle with, is that I do not have to be finished to be whole.”
Throughout my journey with chronic pain I was always looking towards the finish line. What that finish line was for me was a cure. I spent ten years of my life looking for that cure and during that time I never felt whole. In fact, I felt the opposite of whole: empty. All I felt was physical pain, emotional pain, grief, loneliness and finally hopelessness. It was not until I stopped chasing a cure and accepted chronic pain and learned to manage it naturally that I slowly began putting together the pieces of myself that made me whole. I am no where finished with my journey with chronic pain. I have mostly good days and some bad and am always looking for new ways to better my management with chronic pain but for once I do feel whole and if not totally whole at least half full.
This quote can apply to anyone, with or without chronic pain. We are all chasing that finish line and feel that we will not be whole until we get there. Even during a 10K I am searching for that finish line instead of enjoying the positive energy surrounding me during the race. Prior to having my own family I did not think I would be whole until I was married with a child. Even now I know we are not finished as we want more children but does that make my life any less whole than it will be once we extend our family: NO. We are constantly chasing that finish line in our lives. Whether that is an education, a career, a family, or a cure. All we have is today: today is our life. This moment right now no matter where you are, you are whole. Keep your goals, hopes, and dreams alive and keep fighting for what you want but do not let that take away from what you have right now. You, no matter where you are in life are enough. You are whole.