“People who die by suicide don’t want to end their lives, they want to end their pain.”
The number one reason people with chronic pain die is due to suicide. Many people look at suicide as a terrible selfish act but those who feel that way may have never felt the kind of pain people who try to commit suicide have felt: physical or emotional. I am receiving many emails from some of my readers who are really having a difficult time managing their chronic pain. One of my avid, brilliant readers has been lying in bed for days not because he wants to but because his body is not allowing him to work in the way he wants it to. Nobody chooses chronic pain. Chronic pain leads to emotional pain: how could it not? I remember days just lying in bed paralyzed by pain and anxiety and just wanting to end my life. I hate admitting that but I have been there a few times in my past. The physical and emotional pain just took over me and I was truly paralyzed inside my own body.
One of my loved ones is going through a terrible time. She does not have chronic pain but the circumstances in her life are causing her to have anxiety which is leading to physical pain as well. Pain is pain. It sometimes demands to be felt and it is truly like living through hell. I used to have a magnet that said: “When you are going through hell, keep going.” When things are falling apart around you and you literally are paralyzed by pain, fear and anxiety you just have to keep putting one foot in front of the other and keep faith that things will get better, because they do. I still have some mornings where I feel paralyzed by anxiety and sometimes chronic pain. It takes every fiber of my being to get up and start my day. I get how my readers are feeling. I have been there so many times that my heart literally hurts for you all.
I need you all to try and remember that this too shall pass. I am speaking from horrible experience. I am a girl who had a near fatal bike accident that resulted in brain surgery and has lived a life with chronic pain and anxiety since. I have wanted to end my life and have gone years without smiling once. Now I am living a real life. Some days/hours are hard but I am living a happy life and that is proof that anyone can. We have to support one another. We have to be there for our loved ones. We need to spread awareness about invisible illness because no one ever makes up feeling this way. I want my readers to know that I think of you daily and I know you can and will be okay. You just have to start believing it yourselves.