“Everyone is my teacher. Some I seek. Some I subconsciously attract. Often I learn simply by observing others. Some may be completely unaware that I’m learning from them, yet I bow deeply in gratitude.” Unknown
I have come a very long way in my journey with chronic pain but sometimes I do struggle: hence the word chronic. I will never change my choice to manage chronic pain naturally or begin seeking a cure again. I feel I have so much to be grateful for since making that very wise choice (the hardest choice of my life.) I often act happy because I am happy but sometimes I do act the way I want to feel (happy) even when I am not doing well on the inside. And then yes, sometimes I break. My loved ones sometimes forget that I have chronic pain because I am living such a meaningful life, I refuse to talk about pain, and I try very hard to be positive. Some may see my bitchiness at times as just that bitchiness but it really is just my own inner demons (chronic pain and anxiety.) People often ask me: “Jessica, how do I tell my loved ones that I am in pain without using the word pain.” My answer is: “I am having a difficult day and although I may not be myself I am doing the very best I can.”
I too often forget to practice what I preach. Yes, I practice most things I preach on my blog. I ran this morning to help my anxiety and chronic pain, I practiced yoga nidra, I juiced, I used distractions and humor but I quick to forget to express how I am to the people I love. I am not superwoman: I am a mother with chronic pain who is managing it very well but the stressors in life can sometimes make managing it naturally very difficult.
I want to thank my readers and for every single person who emails me whether it is to thank me or ask me for help. You do not realize that you help me as well. You help me remember that I am making a difference but also that I have made a wonderful decision in my journey with chronic pain. I worry sometimes that I am unable to give all my readers the attention and feedback they need. I want you all to know that a day does not go by that I do not think about your struggles and send you all the positivity I can. I pray that I am helping the people who read and follow my blog. Just like the quote says: “I want to inspire people. I want people to say because of you I didn’t give up.”
I have to remind myself sometimes that as well as I am doing, I am still a person with anxiety and chronic pain and it is okay to not always feel amazing. I have had some more than stressful days lately but it is refreshing to know that with my track record things always get better as they will for all of you or you would not be reading my blog. Many people see the approach I take to chronic pain and run because it is scary and if I saw this blog years ago I would not want to read it because I was in no way ready to accept chronic pain. I applaud all of you and want you to know that we are all doing the very best we can. Fact.