“People will usually hurt you in attempt to heal themselves.”
I am known to be a very forgiving, accepting, person and at times have been called a pushover. These are things about myself that I do not want to change. I do not believe people genuinely enjoy hurting others. Many would disagree with me but I have never found anyone in my own existence that truly wanted and enjoyed causing me pain. I find that the only times people truly hurt others is when they are hurting themselves. I know that in my long journey with chronic pain I have hurt numerous people. I will admit it, for about ten years while searching for a cure for my chronic pain I was insanely jealous of every one of my friend and family members. I wanted to just be someone else for a day and not have chronic pain. When people would complain of a headache I would get such an attitude because I wished daily for my pain to be acute instead of chronic. I hurt people with my actions and my words but I did so in attempt to make myself feel better. Is this rational or okay, no but the truth is the truth.
I have friends going through hell right now. One of my best friends is facing things that have literally caused me tears and I just want to help her. She does not have chronic pain but we all face obstacles in our life that cause us severe emotional pain. There are certain people in her life that are adding to her pain but I truly believe that it is only because they are facing their own issues as well. I am a very sensitive person. I have major abandonment issues and I am working hard on not allowing others to hurt me. I had a hard childhood where people were in and out of my life so when people are mean to me I assume I did something awful and they will leave me as well. I will always be a sensitive person and that is not always a bad thing. My sensitivity is what allows me to empathize and not judge others. I need to remember in all of my relationships that when people hurt me it truly is in attempt to heal themselves. Try and remember that. It is very hard to not take things personal especially from people we care about but we have to keep in mind that they are suffering as well.