Thoughts and Chronic Pain

“Most of the problems in life are because of two reasons: we act without thinking or we keep thinking without acting.”

When I was in the drudges of chronic pain and felt totally helpless I did some crazy things without thinking. After spending a ten plus years searching for help and living in the offices of doctors, I started drinking with my friends to a point that got out of control. I will never forget the night I stayed up all night crying and thinking about just ending my life because I truly could not take chronic pain for one more second. Around four in the morning, without a thought I called United Airlines and booked a flight into Denver, Colorado. I only told about two people and packed very little and took off without a thought or hesitation. I landed in Denver and my friend picked me up and drove me to their apartment in Boulder, CO. I remember calling my dad who thought I was sleeping in my NJ bed and telling him that I was in Colorado, clear across the country. He did not even sound that surprised as it was pretty clear chronic pain had turned me into someone I was not and I was a total mess. My chronic pain obviously followed me to Boulder and self medicating became the only way I managed my pain.

Clearly, I found my way through chronic pain but even after I accepted chronic pain and learned how to manage it naturally I had many bumps in the road. There was a time when I went on pain medication knowing that pain medicine would only help for a short time and that it could lead me into a vicious cycle of needed more and more medication to get the same result (which it did.) I have no one to blame for that decision but myself because I knew I could manage it naturally and had been for years but wanted an easy way out. For about a year all I did was think about how much I hated myself for being back on pain medicine. I knew what I had to do and instead of making the change all I did was think non stop about pain medication and the fact that I needed to get back to managing pain naturally. It took over a year of overthinking and hating myself daily for me to get back on track. I am much wiser now and have worked way too hard to ever let that happen to me again.

We always know deep down what we should and should not do. Our inner wisdom is there we just allow our minds to trick us into thinking we are ignorant. Our minds are only one part of our body: we are much more than our minds. If we spent more time listening to our intuition and inner wisdom we would be much happier. I truly believe the soul knows much more than our mind could ever conceive. Sit with this quote for awhile and see what it brings up for you.

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Thoughts and Chronic Pain

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