People suffering with chronic pain tend to begin believing they no longer matter. Chronic pain comes with loss of friends, family, jobs, hobbies, and sometimes loss of basically everything. I know because when I could no longer take the amount of pain I felt or my life in doctors office I left and lost everything. After ten years of looking for a cure and pain relief I literally felt I had nothing less to take and worse give. I left everything I had in New Jersey and packed up what few items I would need and drove straight across the country to Boulder, Colorado. Pain had completely taken over my body, mind and spirit and I totally lost myself. I hated the pain, hated my life looking for a cure, and in turn began to hate myself. I became extremely unhealthy regarding food and partying and truly lived like I was about to die because chronic pain can make you feel like you are truly dying.
You may feel like you have lost everything due to chronic pain and in some sense that may be true. What I need you to know is chronic pain may change your life but it does not have the power to steal your life. Yes, I lost a great deal of my life due to chronic pain but everything I wanted (or at the time had no clue I wanted) came back to me with strength, hard work, and determination. The odd thing is that everything I thought I had lost came back to me times ten. And no, not how I ever imagined my life would be but still a life and a good one at that did come back. My dream to become a teacher was lost however I did graduate with a Social Work degree and became a social worker which brought me tremendous joy. I never had a dream of health and fitness, although I became: an avid athlete, trainer, nutrition fanatic, and instructor. My dream to become a mother came true not how I had planned but I have my beautiful two year old that literally has made me appreciate every little thing from seagulls to the way a flower blooms more than I ever did.
No matter what battle you are fighting: chronic pain, anxiety, PTSD, depression, etc. know that at this moment you may feel everything is gone but you have to keep the faith that things can and will get better. I get it, you have no idea at this present time how things will ever get better and I hate to tell you this but that is okay. All I want is for you all to believe and have faith that they will. I am here for you. If you need advice, email me. I will never judge any of my readers (I do not judge anyone in general) much less anyone suffering from chronic pain. You are never alone and you are so important. We need more voices out there speaking about this invisible illness called chronic pain.
Write this on a post it and put it on your mirror today
“What a wonderful thought, that most of the best days of my life have not happened yet.”