“My biggest fear is that someday you will see me as I see myself.” Anon
This quote almost brought tears to my eyes because it truly can relate to most people I have encountered in my lifetime: chronic pain or no chronic pain. The second I read it I felt something hard in my gut and knew I had to write. People look at me and I’m the pretty girl who works out, is a great mom, and has a loving family: the girl who just has it all. For example, often people ask me: “Why do you work out, you look great!” I don’t work out to look good, I work out because it is my second best tool to managing chronic pain and anxiety. I obviously, never go into detail as to why I adore exercise because people would not understand and I honestly do not have the energy to tell people why I do the things I do. People see how I appear on the outside but no one knows, but myself how I feel on the inside.
I do believe without self love, one is going to struggle through life until they are able to love themselves and I am not talking about how we appear on the outside. I am very proud of how far I have come with the battles I have been given in life but I do not always love myself. Many of us have never truly healed from our past which makes it quite difficult to love ourselves. Some of us were never taught self love. I wish there was a class from elementary school to college that taught us how to love ourselves. Is that not more important than calculus, which we use a damn calculator for anyways? Or wood shop and making bird houses? “Look mom I can make a birdhouse but I think I’m ugly and no one likes me.”
Yes, I find it very sad that many of us need to be taught how to love ourselves but it is the reality of our world. I could go on and on for the reasons why self love is so hard but you know deep down your own reasons. The way I think of myself is not always positive to say the least. I try and work on it daily but this quote does relate to me at times. I do not have all the answers about anything. I know tons about chronic pain and what emotions come with it and ways to manage it naturally and I do practice what I preach or there would be no reason for this blog. However, there are times I am happy people cannot see me the way I see myself which just makes me sad. People can tell you they love you and give you compliments but when you put your head on your pillow at night those words will never matter if you do not believe them yourself. I think today we should all practice seeing the good things in us instead of focusing on the bad. No on else’s opinion in the end matters if we are not feeling good with ourselves. I give so much love out as I know so many of my amazing readers do but maybe today we should truly (no joke) start working on loving ourselves more.