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Unguarded Thoughts

“Your worst enemy cannot harm you as much as your own unguarded thoughts.”

Buddha

I am not sure that I have ever had a “worst enemy.”  I am sure through my teen years and some of my twenties I truly thought some people were my enemies, but in actuality that is a complete fallacy.  I think for myself and most of the world, our worst enemy is our own self: how awful is that?  The things we tell ourselves each and every day become our reality.  For over ten years all I told myself was: “I am in pain and my life is just over.  I will never be okay.”   Pain was my world and truly all I knew.  I have obviously come a very long way in my personal journey with chronic pain but that is not to say that I am not still my own worst enemy, because I am.  Not always, but if I had to chose my worst enemy it would be my personal thoughts.  My brain can start with a worried tiny thought and within minutes I feel defeated, anxious, and terrified.   I overthink things at times to the point that I cannot sleep.  I do not enjoy admitting this but sadly this happens a lot.  People always ask me how I wake up so early and work out right away, and the main reason is that I want to get away from my thoughts that are not serving me or my life.  Yes, I am a morning person.  I have always woken extremely early since I was a little girl.  I hate working out at night because it gets me all wound up and I have a hard time falling asleep.  Not to mention, I have a ton of will power regarding exercise but if I did not work out in the morning, it probably would not happen.  Exercise is one of best friends as it helps my anxiety, chronic pain, and mood.  With that said, one of my goals in my personal journey is to stop my negative thinking.  Cognitively, I know that more that ninety percent of the things I worry about will never happen but my wisdom is thrown out this window way too often.  I also know I need to live in the present moment and not dwell on the future as the things I worry about pretty much always end up working out. 

Nothing anyone can say to me can hurt me as much as my own thoughts.  Fact.  This is true for every one of us.  Do not believe everything you think, your mind lies to you far more often than I can express.  Yes, people can say hurtful, damaging things to you and that hurts especially when it comes from people you love.  I cry over things people say to me far too often and let the outside world influence my inner joy and happiness.  It is difficult not to, but the worst thing we can do is believe the negative things others say to us.  There truly is way too much negativity in our world so we must protect ourselves from that negativity.  This begins by changing our thoughts. Some of us have been thinking so low of ourselves for so long that we truly believe we are worthless.  This is just not true.  Lets work on this together!  Each time a negative thought enters your mind I want you to stop, breathe and change that thought immediately.  All of us can find one simple thing to smile about or feel pride in.  I also think we should all have what I call an “Inspiration Station” somewhere in our home that has various positive quotes we are forced to see on a daily basis.  I have a yellow piece of poster board hung up in my bedroom that has various quotes written on that I see at least twice a day.  I make sure to read at least one or two of those quotes daily and it does help.  If you need some inspiration or quotes regarding chronic pain or any invisible illness, scroll through my blog and take a few of the quotes that speak to you and start your “Inspiration Station.”  I will leave you with the quote I saw this early morning prior to practicing yoga.

 

“My child, you worry too much.  I got this, remember?”

God

 

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