Each early morning after I exercise I try to write a post as I am clearly a morning person and this is “me time.” The home is quiet, my two year old is asleep, and I all I can hear is a candle flickering and a clock ticking. Most days I write at our desk which is right next to our refrigerator. Hence, I see all of these pictures, magnets, and quotes daily. I recently read something that said: “Look at what people take the most pictures of. That is what they are most afraid of losing.” I disagree with that statement. I would re-write that: “Look at what people take the most pictures of. That is what gives them strength, inspiration, and love.” If you follow my blog than you know that my daughter, Kayci is the greatest gift I have ever received. If you went through my instagram account, you would probably see 95 percent of my pictures are of our daughter. She is obviously on our refrigerator multiple times: first Easter, first time in the snow, her first Christmas, birthday party and of course photos from the boardwalk in Ocean City with my closest friend, Lindsay. There is even a picture of Kayci in the top left corner when she was in my belly moving around like a maniac. Our family had taken a road trip to Disney World while I was pregnant. I love this picture. My husband (who may kill me for posting his pictures…..shhhhh) is right in the middle when we were still just dating. I took him to Ocean City as it is my favorite place in the world. I remember that day like yesterday and my love for him has only grown. To the left of that is a picture that was taken mere seconds after our daughter was born: the greatest moment of my life thus far. The magnet with the three of us with the border saying: We Are Family means the world to me as I dreamed my whole life of having a true family. This was the day we bought La La’s home after she passed. She always said: “Jessie this would be the best house to fill with all the kids you dream of having.” My husband is the only man I ever dated that she loved, liked even. No one was good enough for her Jessie. And of course there are pictures of La La.. I love looking at the photo of her looking so beautiful as I was thrilled to be sitting on her lap. And then ya have the random magnets with quotes I love r\and paintings I adore and of course a hockey magnet as both sides of this family love the sport. I never dreamed anyone would convert me to Penguins fan as I grew up in New Jersey and was a die hard Flyers fan. I believe my husband is the only person who could possibly show me the light. I’m sorry La La, yes I love the Penguins. I am certain this would not make her happy.
Some “difficult days” aka physical pain I cannot stand one more second of or even those days when you are troubled find what gives you strength. There is a mild twist to this entire post: sorry to disappoint. I was able to find strength to manage chronic pain naturally long before I met my husband or had Kayci. I did not have pictures like those above: I only had myself. I found strength in my own self to keep fighting for myself, no one else as those above had yet to enter my world. Sometimes you have to look for strength from within. Be strong for yourself, you are worth it.
Pictures, people, and memories give me a great deal of strength. However, so does the ocean, practicing yoga, writing, and helping others. You can have a refrigerator with nothing on it but some business cards and menus, so what? Once you find strength from within the other people in your world just give you more inspiration and love.