“Don’t worry about what people say behind your back, they are the people who are finding fault in your life instead of fixing the faults in their own life.”
How many of you spend an excessive amount of time worrying and thinking about what other’s think about you? People with chronic pain think about what other’s think to levels so high because people do seem to talk more about those with an invisible illness because they are unable to visually see hurt and therefore believe you are fine. It is very hard to tune those messages and opinions of others out but we must in order to succeed in our journey with health, wellness, and happiness. If we spent the time focusing on our lives instead of spending that time focusing on what other’s think, we would be twenty steps further down our road to health and happiness.
Why do so many people talk behind one another’s backs? In my past experience, I talked about people so I felt better about myself and did not have to focus on my own life and my own issues. It was never about anyone else, I just did not want to deal with my own life. We have all talked about others but many of us with chronic pain come to a point that we are very empathetic because we have been hurt and misunderstood so often that we do not want to hurt others. Another reason people tend to talk about others is to “fit in” or be part of the crowd. I remember in my late teens agreeing with people even though I knew they were being so mean just so that I could ignore my chronic pain and hopefully make people like me by agreeing with their mean statements. I no longer do that, nor have the time or energy. I know no one is perfect and I also know everyone is fighting a battle none of us know about. I would be completely fake if I judged others without knowing their life or having any idea what happened behind closed doors.
All of us with chronic pain or any invisible illness know that we are facing more challenges than anyone would care to imagine. One thing we must let go of is the opinion and/or judgement of others. When people speak badly about you, it is more of a reflection of that person than of yourself. Like the silly quote says: “What Susie says of Sally says more about Susie than of Sally.” Happy people who are content with their lives do not speak negatively of other’s, especially when they do it consistently and without care. We all need to ignore the chatter that goes on behind us. It can hurt at times but I promise you if someone is speaking about you in terrible ways it is because they are unhappy with their lives and truly has nothing to do with you.