Support for Chronic Pain

Act The Way You Want to Feel


“I act as if I already have what I want, it is an excellent way to attract happiness in my life.”

Louise Hay

This is a website obviously designed to help those with chronic pain or any invisible illness.  However, as I begin to think about most of my posts (which I rarely read…I know how odd that may sound) I realize this is a place for anyone to come and read about life and hardships and we can all use the tools I use to manage chronic pain naturally: whether you have an invisible illness or not.  There is something all of us have in common: we want happiness, we want love, and no matter how we act we are all hurting at different points in our life.  All of us are more alike than not.

I have been saying the mantra: “Act the way you want to feel” for over ten years because it works.  I had a horrible night sleep and honestly feel like crap and a tiny part of me wants to curl up in a ball shut my eyes and just cry.  The larger part of me knows from experience that I need to use my mantra today as I do on every difficult day.  I am not saying crying is not okay, I can cry like no other but I cannot do that all the time if I expect to be happy and attract the things I most desire in life.   Not to mention I have a (stop it….three year old daughter…I am clearly struggling with that number change that occurred this past Monday.  There are personal things I will never (never say never) write in my story because I do not feel it is fair to the ones I love and there is no reason for the world to read each tiny detail of my beautiful mess.  We all go through hardships, difficult times, losses, etc.  These experiences are terrible and can tear you down for a long time but there are lessons to be learned during these times and we cannot let our circumstances define who we are.  I adore Louise Hay.  She is one of my favorite writers, speakers, and healers.  Hey, Louise if you ever  see this blog please feel free to say hi.  You are mentioned in here a lot!

I have been spending too much time focusing on the negative aspects in my life currently instead of acting as if I already have what I want and all is well.  The above picture collage was literally taken two weeks ago.  Does it look like I have chronic pain or I am going through a tough time? No.  Does my ugh three year old look unhappy? No.  This was a day I truly devoted myself to that mantra: “Act the way you want to feel”  and I felt just as crappy as I do today.   It works, I swear.  It is almost like when you take a shower and then wear something you love and do your hair in a way you love.  You feel a little better and more confident.  It is not the clothes, the hair, or makeup (which I still have yet to use, never learned.)  It is the feeling of confidence and aids in creating what you want and desire.  I absolutely do not in any way have the things I truly want at this present moment.  I will, but for now I must live presently and continue to act the way I want to feel.  The more I focus on that, the more will come into my life that I do desperately want.  The same goes for every person reading this blog.  Pretend you already have what your heart desires and I promise you the more you do this the happier you will be.   I know this for a fact because I am living proof of a person who has had brain surgery, lived with chronic pain, came close to drinking myself to death to numb physical pain and now at the age of thirty three (I’m fine with my age, Kayci’s is just difficult) I am managing chronic pain naturally and have the greatest kid in the world.  Nothing is impossible.  The word itself says: I’m possible.


2 thoughts on “Act The Way You Want to Feel

  1. Thank you so much for sharing so much. I have an invisible chronic illness that has left me sitting staring at space for an unthinkable amount of hours in the last 21 years. The daily maintaining focus on the achievable in a positive frame of mind means I too have to live in an incredibly controlled and regimented way totally misunderstood by all but my husband and daughter. A few weeks ago I was demented.. And raised yet again the possibility of trying new treatment . My husband unexpectedly agreed why don’t you give it a try . I have not medicated for 21 years and stopped looking for a cure after a failed neurectomy and endless repeated attempts at physical therapy which only made me worse. I logged on to see you asking WHEN DO I GIVE UP THE SEARCH FOR A CURE. The answer -today ,tomorrow and every day because those thoughts alone never mind the actions rob me of living the little life I have with joy. Thank you for reminding me… That is a massive thank you by the way . I have been struggling more recently with a physical deteriation in my condition but also because my baby daughter has turned 18 and has started university at the furthest away opposite end of England.She is my only precious child and your very beautiful Kayci reminds me so much of my three year old and brings me back to those incredibly special first years without school is just as hard letting them go at three – I think maybe harder .My daughter gave me the determination to live despite lack of health and her endless joy kept me on track. She is still my reason for keeping going positively and I feel so blessed to have had her. My only sorrow in my life is not to have had another child. That was a choice dictated by health. After my last attempt to cure.. A vestibular neurectomy that just made me a lot worse…another patient sat with me while I was very upset I had been scheduled for re surgery on my daughters first birthday to stem a csf leak. She asked was she my only daughter and went on to tell me about her daughter in her twenties .She surprised me by saying when she was born I was so overcome by how precious she was and i couldn’t imagine another child ever being that special that I decided that she would be my only treasured child.I have recalled her words many many times like a mantle of comfort and reassurance. I hope you get everything you wish for in the coming year but above all I hope you keep the equanimity to focus on all that you treasure most. With many thanks and love from Kay x p.s been trying to be more mindful these last few weeks. Struggling to keep to the positive .My central balance dysfunction makes proper meditation very difficult. Been reading Mindfulness for Health by Vidyamala Burch and Danny Penman, How ToBe Sick by Toni Bernhard one of her chapters is an appreciation of Byron Katie and her programme the Work . I was very lucky in my treatment. I mean at the very end after years of been told there was nothing wrong etc etc… My last consultant laid out all the options after the failed surgery but He Said with real feeling ” If it were me I d hope I would always have the strength to say NO to medication.”Thank you for reminding me it’s too easy to forget how bad I was at my worst especially after failed treatment.

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