Support for Chronic Pain

Acceptance is Hardest Step in any Change


“The ego says I shouldn’t have to suffer, and that thought makes you suffer so much more.  It is a distortion of the truth, which is always paradoxical.  The truth is that you need to say yes to suffering before you can transcend to it.”

Eckhart Tolle

We all face challenges in our lives that leave us asking: “why me?” “what did I do to deserve this?” “I don’t deserve to feel like this, why won’t the pain end?”  Whether that be a medical issue like chronic pain or any disease for that matter, a relationship, loss, the countless things that occur in our lives that leave us saying: “I should not have to suffer.  I do not deserve this.  This suffering must end and there has to be something I can do to make it stop.” How is that working out for us? Clearly, not well.  But, who wants to suffer?  Who wants to feel pain? Who wants to feel physically or emotionally sick?  Not many of us: maybe some but very few and if they do it is their subconscious who wants this not the conscious mind.  So, what do we do?  We accept our suffering.  We acknowledge our pain and stop fighting it and/or feeding it.  I know how crazy that may sound.  For ten years I resisted pain and all I thought was: “Make this pain stop.  This physical pain is not fair, I do not want to suffer.”  Once I let go and came to a point of acceptance, I was able to transcend into healing and peace: this took a long time and a lot of work.

However, I still have times that I think: “I should not have to suffer.”  I am not speaking of physical pain, just the crap that we all face during our life.  I resist the suffering because I want to make things better that are not doing well and causing me pain.  I consistently think: if I do this or that, the suffering will end.  That is the same exact thing I did with chronic pain and it left me close to death.  I, we all must accept suffering as crazy as that sounds in order to reach a point of peace.  Thoughts are things.  Most are not real.  Eckhart Tolle often explains that we can either be our thoughts or be the witness to our thoughts.   That is not to say one is not allowed to be angry or sad or feel pain: quite the contrary.  However, the more we focus on what is making us sad the more sadness we will have: there is no other way.  I cannot express how difficult this is, I probably do not have to as most of you have an invisible illness.  I personally must say yes to the suffering, accept what is, let go of what I cannot control and trust that everything works out: because my personal history has taught me it does.  This is so easy to say and write but very difficult to practice.  However, we (anyone with an invisible illness) are some of the strongest people in the world.  If we can live in pain twenty four seven and have a life despite pain, we can do anything.

I accept any suffering that has come into my life and I let go of what I cannot control.  I need to focus on myself and my health and all the blessings I have.  I need to applaud myself for all the strength I have gained this past year and know that I have the light and energy to be happy despite my suffering.

We can do this.


5 thoughts on “Acceptance is Hardest Step in any Change

      • Awe. You’re very welcome. When a fellow blogger writes an article that is well written, motivational and speaks to me, I will always comment. Good
        It’s very early here. I had to wake up early to watch my nephew. I took some time to read and like/ favorite quite a few of your articles. I’ll finish later. I love the way you think girl. Reminds me of myself. Doesn’t it feel amazing to share your thought? It’s definitely empowering to me!

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