“Decide this minute to never again beg, try to convince someone of your pain, or chase love and respect. Those are the most needed things you must do for yourself.”
I received a lot of feedback from my post written yesterday regarding acceptance and non-resistance. I also had experiences yesterday that truly proved you cannot convince people of your pain or make a person treat you with respect and compassion. I took my, now three year old daughter to buy “mommy fancy shoes” also known as high heels. She wanted to be able to dance and hear the noise with the heels: I swear she reminds myself of me at her age to a degree I cannot express. Mini me is not a strong enough term, except for her diva, princess obsession. I do not wear makeup, she loves lip gloss and “blush.” I like nice clothes but am very happy to not be in dresses and heels each day as I was when I practiced social work. I rarely wear jewelry but she loves “getting her glam on.” I have no idea where she heard that, but I think it is a Barbie thing. Back to the story of buying this “glam on” three year old: after I purchased her little fancy heels I saw a woman who works at Walmart. She has seen me since I was pregnant with Kayci and is truly the kindest, sweetest person I have yet to meet at any Walmart. Kayci has been drawn to her for years. It was extremely hot yesterday and this woman whom is always smiling was filled with tears as she walked passed the shoe store. She stopped and broke down crying to me: she had been fired for “stealing.” I judge no one but trust me this is the last person whom would steal not to mention she was the judge threw the case out as she was innocent. However, Walmart (bastards) would not give her the job back and she is quite poor and needs the income desperately. She has no car and asked if I would drive her to the bus stop. I didn’t think twice, despite my three year olds crankiness and we drove her to the bus stop which was about two miles away. She was more than grateful and tears of happiness rolled down her face as she said: “I am so happy there are still some good people in this world. I just wish I understood why God is making me suffer as he is.” She is a very religious woman and I did not know what to say except what this post is truly about: not asking why one suffers or resisting change but accepting the situation where the person is right now in this time and space. As she got out of my car, all she said was: “Well, all I know is that when God closes one door a better one opens. I have faith.”
She is not running back to her job at Walmart and begging for work nor is she hating or blaming herself. She is a lot stronger than one would think, and her faith in her own personal higher being is carrying her threw her current storm. As I am going through a tough time that I continue to resist and ask: “why do I have to suffer?” I am slowly seeing that surrendering to acceptance and not fighting suffering is the exact thing I should be doing. I accepted my suffering just this morning. I decided to focus solely on my well being and stopped resisting the things I cannot change and two hours later received an email from a publisher in the chronic pain field who is interested in me writing for them regarding my management of chronic pain.
Miracles happen. Stop planning. Let Go. Surrender to acceptance and allow the Universe to surprise you.