“Much suffering, much unhappiness arises when you take each thought that comes into your head as the truth.”
What is the first thing you think of when you open your eyes in the morning? Many of you do not have to tell me because I know. Hmmm…. “Is it Sunday or Monday? Oh no my pain is going to be out of control today.” “I have so much to do that I cannot even move, its too much” or “Everyone hates me, no one understands me, this weekend was so awful. I do not even want to get out of bed.” Any of the above ring true? Most of us awake (myself included) with a pit in our stomach and an urgent thought that causes us a negative emotion: usually anxiety. Then we get up and begin our day and for myself (now, not ten years ago) the first thoughts I had upon awaking are beyond untrue: they were just thoughts. Eckhart Tolle teaches us that we are not our thoughts however we allow our thoughts to become our truth. He suggests being aware of our thoughts but not giving them any ammunition. We should be the observer of our thoughts instead of our thoughts controlling our lives: overthinking truly is the root of unhappiness, worry, and suffering. Ninety percent of our worries never come to fruition but we continue to worry. This is a very hard pattern to break: it is something I struggle with on a daily basis. Cognitively I know my worries and fears are just thoughts and I need to stay present but often times my ego gets in the way of a good day.
My mom and I have had a crazy relationship in my thirty three years in this world. Ups and downs is an understatement but once I became a mother and an adult I saw the real person I am proud to call mom. I always worried about her and still do. It saddens me that we spent years not being close and I had a great deal of resentment towards her which caused me ton of un-needed pain. Since my daughter was born, my mother and I have gotten close again with no lapses in time. I accept her for who she is and I now see we are all victims of victims and we as people, parents, and members of society act and treat others how we were treated from our time of birth. If you know nothing else and/or were not taught how to love yourself how will you be able to pass on the lessons that were not given to you? Hence why I refuse to judge anyone. My family and I went to my mom’s house yesterday for her husbands birthday. Never a dull moment spending time with my mom, which is what I love most about her. She is the funniest, most outrageous people one could ever meet. Sadly, her husband’s family did not show up for his birthday party. I was sad for him, my mom was pissed. But she taught me something on how to deal with anger and frustration: she turned the day around and had the five people who were there laughing hysterically. We were playing with Kayci with sidewalk chalk and playing catch and all of a sudden my mom begins writing huge sentences on the pavement/driveway. I cannot write exactly what she wrote but I will edit her hilarious yet non appropriate words: “Keep Out A#@^%&*@, Thanks for Coming.” and “We Moved so Get the H@#$ Away.” We were all dying of laughter and the day was turned around. It was definitely the highlight of the weekend and my first thought yesterday morning was more negative than you can imagine.
Thoughts are things and most are un-true. I know how hard it is to be the observer of your thoughts but try it with me and trust me I am struggling with this so I am right there with you.
“Sometimes the easiest way to solve a problem is to stop participating in the problem.”