Obviously I, like many of the world know most of the songs to the biggest Disney movie possibly in my lifetime: Frozen. I have heard and know each song so many times that I am a tiny surprised to finally realize that Elsa (the star of Frozen) is exactly like each and every one of us with an invisible illness. I was giving my three-year old a bath this evening and Disney songs were playing in the background and I, as always begin singing the words. Then I stopped and listened. Yes, I admit I am not the best listener in the world and need to work on listening as opposed to thinking about what I will say next to whom I am speaking with. The song was “For the First Time in Forever” and both Elsa and Anna (sisters, if you are the one in a million person whom has yet to see Frozen) have totally different feelings towards ‘Coronation Day.’ Anna has been alone in a castle waiting and waiting to see the world and find love and meet: “the one.” Elsa on the other hand is petrified that her invisible illness will come out and everyone will know that she is not the beautiful, enchanting, perfect person they all see on the outside. She may not have chronic pain or any of the invisible illnesses myself and most of my readers have (little much for Disney, then again she does freeze people: but still too much for the toddler and grade school population.) As Anna is singing her heart out, belting out her excitement at finding love and a life outside the empty castle walls, Elsa is singing from a place from fear. She sings: “Don’t let them in, don’t let them see, be the good girl you always had to be…conceal, don’t feel, put on a show: make one wrong move and everyone will know.” I will give you all a minute or two to sing aloud or inside your head the following lyrics, come on back when you are finished. Hey, it is a catchy tune and even I am now singing it again. No shame.
Read what she is saying: she is screaming out through lyrics what all of you are screaming inside, yet no one can hear you because like Elsa you feel totally and completely alone and who would believe from the outside looking in you are suffering? Chronic pain comes in so many forms but it does not matter where your pain is, pain is pain and you feel like you are drowning in your own frozen sorrow of tears that after a while just cease to come out. Maybe, just maybe even Disney movies are starting to recognize and show the real face and truth behind invisible illness. I still feel frozen at times. I awoke this morning and this rarely happens any longer but I felt that pit in my stomach: I was also awaking from a terrible dream that left me in a puddle of sweat but nonetheless that fear and emptiness remained even when I came to my total conscious state. Ninety five percent of the time I can jump up, get moving and start my routine: today I struggled. I actually fell back asleep, which if you know me is shocking. It was a hard day: many stressors to deal with and in hindsight I could have handled certain moments differently but I am not perfect: chronic pain or not. I have bad days too but I am able to say as I get in bed tonight and awake tomorrow: Let It Go.
Elsa is a very strong character but I learned tonight just how strong she is and in essence how all of you are. My God: we really deserve a day to have the power to freeze something. I am mildly shocked I am writing a post about Frozen and reading into the movie to an extent that I would not had, if I did not have a daughter who like most kids love this amazingly done film. My heart feels as Elsa does when she sings the lyrics I wrote above right now. Movies and music can truly express how one feels more than anything else at times. Trust me when I say this: if a loved one asks you to listen or watch a movie he or she is probably trying to get you to hear what they are unable to express.