“I’ve learned that whenever I decide something with an open heart, I usually make the right decision. I’ve learned that even when I have pains, I do not have to be one. I’ve learned that every day you should reach out and touch someone. People love a warm hug, or just a friendly pat on the back. I’ve learned that I still have a lot to learn. I’ve learned that people with forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”
There is a person who has been in my life for over ten years now, which is pretty fantastic considering what this woman means to me. No, she is not Maya Angelou: I am not Oprah yet but maybe one day I will get there! She is my mentor, a mother figure, a role model, and someone I wish I could call mom. She has known me at my worst and my best and for some reason despite my many mistakes due to chronic pain and/or due to being human she has never once lost faith in me nor judged me. We were talking a couple of weeks ago and she told me how I once did not like her at all. Quite frankly, I do not remember feeling that way but to be honest I was probably hung over from the night before as I used alcohol to numb my physical pain. Or perhaps I was drunk: kidding, I hope. (That was a joke, I think.) She saw something in me during my darkest hours of chronic pain that I did not see in myself. Now, I think of her as Glenda the Good Witch from ‘The Wizard of Oz.’ At the end of this very famous movie Glenda says to Dorothy: “You always had the power dear, it was just up to you to find it.” Like Glenda, my angel always saw that I had the power to change how I managed chronic pain, life, and is the person who on June 7th, 2013 told me I should start a blog about my journey with chronic pain as it would help many people. I looked at her and said: “I do not even have a computer, nor have the money to buy a new one at the moment and who is ever going to read anything I write?” I honestly am so un-savy when it comes to technology that I swear I had not really heard of the term blog before: who came up with that term anyway? A blog, surely we could call this way of writing/communicating something else. Well, after my rant about not having a computer etc. she brought me back to the Law of Attraction. The more we focus on what we do not have, the less we will have. However, the more we focus on what we do have the Universe conspires to bring us more of what we want. She told me to write down on a piece of paper why I wanted a computer and put it in a drawer and let it go. So, I did. I no longer think her ideas are nuts, but I have to be honest at the time I did. Two days later I was visiting my mom and had completely forgotten about the note I write regarding a computer or the term blog and sharing my story. Our of the blue my mom said: “I need a new computer, this is just not working anymore. I do my shopping on here Jessie (only person aside from my younger brother who can call me that name) I have to get something better than this piece of s$#@.” My mom is a trip! An hour later she found a deal online where if you buy one lap top you get the other one for fifty percent off. Three hours later I was picking up my brand new computer and knew then I had to write. Writing has always been a passion of mine and when I was a child I wrote constantly. I had about five journals and enjoyed writing short stories for fun. One of my closest friends who now lives in Maine told me at a young age that I should be a writer and I remember the only thing I thought when she said this was: “I have chronic pain, I probably won’t even have children much less be a writer..” Here I am: a mother and a writer.
I do not remember everything my mentor has said or done for me but I never forget how she makes me feel. I saw her this week and the positive energy that radiates from her is contagious. She gets me and honestly I believe at times she is an angel. All you need is one person to believe in you and not give up on you and that is what she has done for me. Some of you may not have a Glenda in your life but you have me. I honestly believe in each and every one of you suffering from chronic pain. Why? Because I was you. My bike accident almost killed me but living with chronic pain brought me to a much closer death. I never thought I would be here managing chronic pain naturally and following my dreams. If I can do this, anyone can. Email me whenever you need to, this is my purpose and my reason for being on this Earth: to be a Glenda to all of you who are where I was ten years ago. My bike accident was not an accident: it was a blessing in disguise.
This post is dedicated to Anna Marie, a true angel