chronic pain, Infertility, Support for Chronic Pain

Intentions: Declare What YOU Want


“Intentions are like magnets, the more we declare them and act in ways that manifest the more real and powerful they become.”


I went for a physical two days ago and this has been something I have been putting off for a long time, not because I think something is wrong with me but I do not want to talk about my brain surgery and chronic pain.  Each time I see any form a doctor from a dentist to a primary care doctor to my OBGYN most physicians go through my records see the two scary words: BRAIN SURGERY and understandably so want to talk about it.  He or she will ask what medications I take for pain, who I see for pain, and offer suggestions on how to manage pain.  “Have you ever tried acupuncture?  I hear great things about the benefits to acupuncture and chronic pain!”  YES!!! FOUR DIFFERENT ACUPUNCURISTS FROM NEW JERSEY TO COLORADO.  I want to just scream: “Give me  the damn physical, check my heart, lungs, head shoulders knees and toes and let me out of here!  I spent ten plus years in doctors offices talking about pain and misery, I’m over it.”  Instead I know hand them a business card with my website on it and make sure they see in bold letters: how to manage chronic pain naturally.  The quote above explains why I do not talk about pain.   I have worked my ass off and still do every day to manifest what I want in my life: health, happiness, kids, and to never allow chronic pain to never steal my joy for more than a couple of days a year.  I could have sat there with this wonderful doctor (I am not being sarcastic, she is super nice) and complained about where it hurts, how chronic pain stole years from my life, and how I wish to the Universe no one suffered from this invisible illness.  That would be the definition of insanity.   I did that three times a week back in the day with doctors and it lead me to misery and wanting to end my life.  My three-year old daughter is quite intuitive or she just wanted to get the hell out of the doctor’s office and went into my purse and handed the doctor one of my business cards.  The doctor looked at me and said: “Wow, you are inspiring.  Do you mind if I tell patients about your site?”  Thank you Kayci! Instead of declaring: “I have chronic pain.  Ten plus years were  stolen from me.  I never found a cure and still live with the invisible illness”  I declare: “I am healthy, happy, so grateful for my family, my daughter, my strength, our home, and my future.  I am so excited to have more children and chronic pain will never steal my life again.”

I get very frustrated when people say I cannot do something or something may not happen such as having another child.  I used to defend myself or try to prove myself but what is the point: it sucks the energy right our of me.  Now I do the Joey nod from the show ”FRIENDS’ and smile just like when someone says a joke I do not understand: nod and simile.  I rarely write about this but we are actively trying to have another child and I have been in fertility for months: ah the truth will set you free.  Kayci has already named her ‘sister’ Kammi and for the first time since well ever I am calm and confident I will be pregnant much sooner than later: I’m thirty-four: that clock is a tickin.  This time last year I was in fertility and I was a hot mess.  I was obsessed with getting pregnant to the point that it truly destroyed many things including my management of chronic pain.  I became depressed, un-healthy, and forgot all the blessings I had.  I was far from manifesting what I wanted: a sister or brother for our daughter.  I would say: “I am never going to get pregnant and if  I do I will just have another miscarriage.  I hate my life.  What is wrong with my body!?”   And you wonder why I did not get pregnant: I was stressed to the nine, depressed, so sad that I lost a lot of weight, and I was declaring to the universe that I would not get pregnant.  You hear stories all the time about women who spend years in fertility treatments or are told they are not able to get pregnant.  They end up adopting a child and two months later are pregnant.  This is not a coincidence.  I now declare that: I will get pregnant when the time is right, I am healthy and beyond excited to expand our family.

I have been told my whole life that there are things I cannot do because of chronic pain or things I have to do because of chronic pain like take medications: well I am managing chronic pain well and hopefully helping others.  I hear often: “You may not have another child.  Just be happy with one.  Maybe your body ix just finished having babies.”  I would love to defend and scream: “Really?  Are you my doctor?  Because I am in perfect health and have no problem getting pregnant, I am just not able to carry a child due to my lack of Progesterone.  No further questions: google it.”  Instead, I smile and simply say: ” Kayci will have a sibling and we are so excited for this process.”  The negative or discouraging comments I get push me harder to be as healthy and grateful as I can be.  I know me, I know my body and I know I never give up and when my intuition says something will happen or already has: that intuition has yet to be wrong.  My mind messes me up at times but my inner guidance and intuition never fail me.  So, I have extended my dreams despite chronic pain.  I never thought I would have a family, a life of any sort, a degree, be an avid health nut, or have a child.  All have come true and now I am manifesting, and creating something that I have always wanted: children (plural.)

If you want something, declare it.  If you do not want to think about chronic pain try (not always, it is good to vent at times) complain endlessly about pain because I promise you the pain will increase and you will lose more and more of your precious time in the here and now.  Never allow anyone to tell you, you are unable to do something.  Listen to your inner wisdom and start manifesting what you want as opposed to speaking about what you do not want.  You are all so much stronger than you think and I am proud to call you my readers.


8 thoughts on “Intentions: Declare What YOU Want

  1. Thank you! I love reading your posts, and whilst I don’t always visit WordPress to do so (so you won’t see that I have contributed to the number of views) I read every email I receive to tell me there’s a new post! You are an inspiration and this latest post helped me a great deal. Nothing seems to be going right in my life at the moment but I’m now going to practice asking for what I want instead of being upset that I don’t have it yet, because I will one day! My Mom used to say “Patience is a virtue” and I need to start being more virtuous! Thanks again!!

  2. It’s been a while since I had read one of your posts. We downsized in December & I forgot to update my email address with WordPress. I finally did yesterday & received my first email from you this morning. I am so glad I updated it! I’ve been reading your posts for an hour or so now. Thank you for being so real, for the inspiration & the reminder that I am not my pain! I had a melt down just a few days ago & really needed this. Thanks so much!

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