“All the hardest, coldest people were once as soft as water. And that is the tragedy of living.”
One of my closest friends said something that stuck with me a few days ago: “I don’t believe people change, I believe people learn and grow.” I have always hated when I hear a person say: “People cant change” or “Once this or that always this or that.” How terrible. However, I believe what my friend articulately said is very true: we either grow and learn or we do not. I know that anyone who reads my blog is growing because as I have said before if I saw anything that said “happy despite pain” or “managing chronic pain naturally” I would have cried and hated the person who wrote the blog (yes that would be me.) I wanted a cure and if I did not see something that said: “Cure to chronic pain” or “Chronic Pain Relief” I would not have wasted a mere second reading anything else. So believe me when I say you are all growing and you may be cold now but you will be soft as water again.
There are two reasons I never judge a person. The first is because of my past and my very bad choices during my darkest hours of chronic pain. I did a lot of things I am not proud of just to numb the pain and I have hurt the people I love most in this world. If I judged anyone I would be the biggest hyprocrite alive. The second reason I never judge is because we are all victims of victims and I truly do not believe anyone is born a “bad person.” For example I love the quote: “No one is born racist.” People are taught to hate and if a child is raised by parents who are racist, he or she only knows racism. We learn more in our formative years than we will ever learn in our lifetime. Yes, my dream has always been to be a mother and yes I thought chronic pain stole my dream but clearly it has not. I do believe being a parent and teaching values to our children is the most important job in the world. I teach my daughter self love, to never judge another, and I am trying very hard to teach her how blessed we are and no we do not need another Shopkins or any toy for that matter. She is the first child so I will give her a break on that one: phew second child may have it a tad different: first child syndrome. My three year old said yesterday as we took a day trip to Hershey Park: “Mommy, why is that woman in that chair (a wheel chair?) I explained the best I could to a mere toddler and she said quite frankly: “That’s a sin Mommy. Maybe I can share my legs with her!” It was a proud moment and it made me feel as if I am, for the most part being the best role model and teacher I can.
No one is born angry, mean, jealous, or filled with hate: these traits are learned or like many of us come from an invisible illness. We have no right to judge ANYONE as we have no idea what deck of cards he or she is dealing with.