“Happiness is the settling of the soul into its most appropriate spot.”
Years ago I was faced with a very life altering decision and I was truly stuck on which way to go. I felt that my heart was saying one thing but my mind was on the opposite end of the spectrum and there was a huge tug of war in me: mind vs. heart. I always believed you listen to your mind when faced with challenges so at this point and time I thought I knew what I had to do which was not what my heart wanted but I believed I had to go with my mind as hard as this choice would be. After a very emotional yoga class where I did end up crying the instructor, who is very close to my heart brought me into her back office to ask me what was wrong. Tears dripped down my face as I told her my dilemma and I remember saying this: “I know what I have to do, but my heart just does not want this at all!” She looked at me with such genuine love and guidance and simply said: “Listen to your heart and do not forget your soul. Your heart has the answers much more so than the mind, the mind just plays games and gets in the way of what the soul truly wants.” I was dumbfounded. This conversation literally changed my way of thinking about love, life and happiness and I did end up going with my heart leaving my brain behind and I am very thankful I did so. I have grown a lot spiritually and emotionally since this conversation and now trust my heart and soul much more than my mind which can literally make something up in about five seconds. The mind can be a real asshole. Did you ever feel sick or find a random bump on your arm or leg and go straight to your computer to type in how you felt? I will bet you a lot that twenty minutes after reading the answers from Google, you believed you either had a disease or were going to die. Never use the internet (present website exclude haha) to find answers to any ailment. I know now to listen to my heart and here is why: my mind gives me about twenty answers which raises my anxiety and fear and I become a confused mess. My heart, my soul truly give me one and that is the truest form of what you truly want and most likely need.
The first time I found my soul was on the beach a few weeks after leaving the Pain Rehab Center in Minnesota. I had made the biggest decision in my life and as you know that was to manage chronic pain naturally. I remember just sitting there on a warm September day with just my meditation CD’s and a book. It was late September and everyone was either at work or school and I had the beach to myself. I felt this huge sigh of relief run through my body almost like the waves were crashing into my soul saying: this is it Jessica, this is living: you have arrived. That day stays with me all the time and I was so content to just be alone with my soul and know that I did not let my fear deter me from what my heart knew I needed most. I could not find happiness and peace during those ten years of searching for a cure and by the end of my battle I no longer read, went to the beach and was petrified to be alone with my thoughts. Your soul has the answers to the questions you seek. Try and not allow your mind to get in the way of your true being and self.