“One cannot be prepared for something while secretly believing it will not happen.”
What in your life is holding you back from being happy and at peace with what you have? My guess for most of you is chronic pain? However, millions of people are being held back by their negative thoughts who have no illness but just do not believe their dreams and/or desires will come true. How often in your life time have you heard people say things such as: “I will never find the person of my dreams. Look around, I promise I’ll be single and childless the rest of my life. Men just suck theses days” or: “Oh right, I’ll be one of the few lucky ones who lands this job. The odds are so against me that it is not even worth trying. I’ll just end up disappointed” and for many of you: “Happy despite chronic pain? Crap. There is zero way I will ever have a good life or be happy with this debilitating pain that has now ruined my entire life and each dream I have had. I’m screwed. I will never be able to manage chronic pain and be happy at the same time. Impossible.”
I get it. I have had all of the above thoughts and most were directly because of chronic pain. I told myself on an hourly basis my life was over due to chronic pain and the ailments that come with the disease. I am in a different place and no longer allow chronic pain to control my life but I still get those thoughts of: “never going to happen.” The past has just taught me that the more I think of the things I want and believe will happen, the happier I am and the things I want come much quicker. Example: pregnancy. Hi, have we met? I clearly want more children and yes one of my biggest fears is/was that Kayci would never have a sibling. However, before Kayci was born my biggest fear was that I would never have a child. Clearly, my fear (False Evidence Appearing Real) was a fallacy and now I know I will have another child. Life is much more peaceful letting go of fear and just knowing that fears are not real and the things you truly want will happen if you focus on what you want instead of what you do not want. The more you complain or think about what is wrong in your life, the more of what you do not want will come your way. This is factual, scientific in many ways. Thoughts become things: what we believe will be our reality, there can be no other way. You have no idea how often I hear: “You spend half your life trying not to get pregnant and the second half trying.” and/or “My spouse and I had two children when we were not trying but now have spent over a year trying for our third. My hopes of having another child are gone. There is no way it is going to happen.” When one is trying for anything with fear and doubt in their mind, what he or she is trying for will most likely not happen. Why do you think most pregnancies are not planned? Because we are not stressing our bodies and minds out thinking negatively, we are just living for the moment and have no doubt that when the time is right what we want (in this example, a child) will happen. Fear controls our lives and the more we think from a place of fear, the more the things we fear will happen. Change your thoughts, change your life.
So, what are you secretly believing will not happen in your life? It may have nothing to do with chronic pain. Whatever it may be you need to turn that thought around and literally begin to write, say, and think the opposite even if in the beginning you truly do not believe what you want will happen. Over time, with practice your thoughts will change. Start today. Whatever you want that you are secretly believing will never happen write down the opposite. For example, if your thought is: I will never be happy because of my invisible illness write down the opposite. “I know I will be okay. I know in time chronic pain will not control my life and I will be happy.” Keep what you write down with you at all times and when your negative thought arises take that little piece of paper out of your pocket and read it to yourself.
I hope you all have a fun Halloween and are able to find your inner child and let the little things go and start focusing on what you do want instead of fearing what you do not want.