Law of Detachment


  1. Allow yourself and others the freedom to be who they are.

  2. Do not force solutions, allow solutions to spontaneously emerge.

  3. Uncertainty is essencial AND your path to freedom.

Deepak Chopra

It is no wonder why Deepak Chopra is such an amazing philosopher, speaker, and able to reach the hearts and souls of those who are touched by his words.  If we as a world were able to just practice the above three ‘laws of detachment,’ the world would change in ways nor you are I can imagine.  Most of us maybe practice one of the above laws, myself included.  My daughter and most children seem to practice all three laws.  The picture above was taken yesterday at the playground.  Kayci, whom is three years of age randomly put on sunglasses at about six-thirty yesterday morning and refused to take them off.  Along with the sunglasses, she wore costume jewelry a huge Anna (Frozen) necklace, and carried a purse while pushing her doll in her stroller.  She could care less what others think of her and sees everyone as an individual and does not discriminate in any way, shape or form.  The only difference Kayci sees is age: kids and adults.  I felt as if I spent the day with a three year old who had transformed into a person with a mix of Ray Charles and Marilyn Monroe.  I was laughing on and off just by her swagger, look, and  lack of caring for what anyone thought.  I cannot believe there was a time I thought chronic pain would steal my chance at being a mother because I believed pain would control me for life and I would never be able to be a good mom with this invisible illness. Motherhood (not easy, amazing but not always easy) has been the greatest distraction from chronic pain since the day I made a choice to accept my disease and learned how to manage it without medications.  Multiple women said to me yesterday: “Gosh, I wish I could pull that off.  Your daughter looks amazing.  She is so happy.”  Thinking back, why cant they pull it off?  The number one law of detachment: “Allow yourself and others the freedom to be who they are.”  At what point  in our journey in this world do we stop practicing this law?

Law number two clearly states:  “Do not force solutions, allow solutions to spontaneously emerge.”  We all want things fixed now, today, this moment.  Any problem whether it be health related, financial, or an issue within a relationship we want fixed.  We do not want to play the ‘hurry up and wait’ game.  However, when I think back to each and every problem I have faced in my life (like us all, there have been a lot of them) not one problem was solved by force.  For example, my journey with chronic pain.  When I fought the pain and tried to force a solution for years and years, I was left in more pain and in turn more hopelessness.  It was not until I took the path less traveled and stopped forcing a solution that I found my answer to peace and happiness despite pain.  This law is so much easier said than done.  I am the biggest worrier you could meet.  I do not like conflict or being upset and when someone is mad at me or there is an issue in my life I want it solved immediately.  I try and force a solution and end up more sad, depleted, and my pain levels go up and up.  When I am able to just breathe and allow life to unfold as it will, I find more peace and my health does not fail me.

Law number three: Uncertainty is essential and your path to freedom.  Talk about a difficult law to practice.  However, whether we realize it or not we all are living in a world of uncertainty but we like to pretend that we have it all figured out.  Uncertainty in a way is like worry or anxiety.  We are not supposed to know everything.  We had to learn to crawl before we could walk and learn to walk before we could run.  I am not a fan of the unknown but I am truly trying to practice what I believe and that is this.  If I know I am doing the right things and know my heart and soul are in sink, things are going to fall into place exactly how I want them to: I just do not know when or how.  They always have and they always will.  I have such a hard time letting go of the need to know the future: an impossibility. I swear I still think back to a psychic my best friend, Lindsay and I saw on the Ocean City boardwalk twenty years ago and remember thinking I had to be married by the age of twenty five to someone whose name started with the letter L or C (I forget) and have two kids because that is what the psychic told me would happen.  Could she have been more wrong?

Someone I look up to once said to me: “When you leave this room, let all your thoughts and worries go.  What will be will be.  You have nothing to worry about.  The Universe has you covered.  Just have faith and breathe.”

chronicpain, dreams, Happiness, Peace, Positive Energy, Support for Chronic Pain

Law of Detachment


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