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Bringing Attention to Pain


“What you do is miniscule in comparison with what you choose to think, because your vibration is so much more powerful and so much more important.”

Abraham Hicks

If we realized how powerful our thoughts were, we truly would try a lot harder to not think negative thoughts.  Thoughts truly are just things and if we choose to focus on the negative thoughts or the worrisome thoughts, we are going to receive the things in life we truly do not want. Most of what we worry about never comes true and I wish I could tattoo that on my hand so that it would be a constant reminder to me as I worry way too much and everything always works out.  There are so many quotes out there regarding worrying such as: “Worrying is like a rocking chair, it gives you something to do but it does not get you very far”  or “I’ve got ninety nine worries and not one of them is based on reality.”  We all cognitively know worrying is not only unhelpful but very detrimental to our health, whether we have chronic pain or not but we have become a society of consistent worry.  I envy the very few people I know who let their worries go and allow life to unfold: they are the happiest, kindest people I know and my goal is to one day get to that point.  Changing the way we think is so much easier said than done.  I have spent thirty four years being a worrier, worry is engrained in my brain and it will take a long time to change my negative thoughts.  Aside from being a mother and writer, I nanny for extra money.  Recently, I was let go because the amazing child I watch is getting too old for a nanny.  I will still see him as he became family to my daughter and I but I went straight into worry mode.  The what ifs started pouring in.  I thought of nothing else aside: get a new nanny job, get a new nanny job, get a new nanny job.  I knew I would quickly: I have my degree, I am a mother, and have more experience with kids than most people I know.  I worried, I lost sleep, I was bitchy to those around me even though cognitively I knew I would find another nanny job quickly.  Two weeks later I found a new job and it is amazing!  I do not want to say it is better than my previous job because I truly love the child I worked with but it is different and allots me more time to spend with my daughter and write which is truly what I want to do for a living.   Nothing is perfect but this particular job comes quite close to exactly what I wanted.  I said it out loud to myself: “Jessica, you did it again.  You spent two weeks worrying for nothing!!! Everything worked out and possibly for the better.  Augh, when will you learn!”  If I had a dime for every time I said this to myself I would never need to nanny because I would be the richest writer in the county.

Unfortunately, yet understandably so many of you spend most of your time thinking about pain.  I get it.  I spent a third of my life thinking about the pain I was in.  I had a difficult day yesterday and found myself rubbing my head and face as I was reading last night before bed.   Pain behaviors are awful.  Pain behaviors are any behaviors that draw attention to your pain such as grimacing, overly stretching, talking about pain non stop, or my final pain behavior rubbing the area that hurts.  I had a very stressful day and it caught up to me and therefore I had a difficult night.  I was not only thinking about pain but I was bringing more attention to my pain by rubbing my head and face.  Yes, it feels good to massage your shoulders or head for the moment but the second you stop the pain is almost worse and your attention is one thousand percent focused on what you do not want to be thinking about.  I understand more than the average person how difficult it is to transition your thoughts from pain onto something else.  However, it is a must.  It may seem impossible but it is not.  I finally began reading a book that requires no concentration but is an enjoyable book and slowly I stopped thinking about pain as much and drifted off to sleep.  Pay attention to your thoughts, they can be your biggest ally or your worst enemy.



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