A little bit about myself

Hi! My name is Jessica and I am thirty two years old. When I was about fifteen I had a bike accident that resulted in brain surgery. I was riding my bike home from our local video store (they had them once) and the bag containing the video hit the front wheel of my bike and I fell into a stone wall. I broke my right collar bone but other than that thought I was fine. Fine enough to walk home (not my smartest decision ever.) Once home my dad rushed me to the hospital where I ended up having immediate brain surgery to remove the blood clot in my brain. I woke up the next morning with a shaved head and a face that did not resemble my own. I stayed in the ICU for a week and was later transferred to my own room where I remained for a month. Since then I have had chronic pain. It was never too bad until I started college. It slowly began to ruin my life. I had more surgeries and went to every specialist imaginable. You name it I tried it. After years of surgeries and more and more doctors I just became depressed and anxious all the time. I was literally living in hell. I had no life. The only time I did enjoy myself was when I was drinking with my college friends because at least then I didn’t have to feel the pain. I came close to suicide and that was when my friends and family got me to go to the Mayo Clinic in Minnesota. After months of exams it was clear there would be no cure to my chronic pain and I would have to learn to live with it naturally. I was admitted to the Pain Rehab Center at the Mayo Clinic where I spent two months. I hated it in the beginning. First of all, I wanted a cure. I didn’t want to exercise and eat well and meditate and everything else I was being told to do. But after a month of doing it, something changed. I left the Pain Center scared, anxious, and with pain but I finally had hope.
There have been many ups and downs since then. I did well for a few years and even became a medical social worker because I wanted to help people who were also in pain. But there were times when I just got too stressed and too anxious and the pain became too much and I went back to taking pain medicine. I hated myself for being on medicine. I stopped using all the tools I learned from the Mayo Clinic and once again felt hopeless. Three months ago I stopped taking any and all pain medicine because I was tired of hating myself and wanted to set an example to my daughter and any other person suffering from chronic pain that you can live a happy life without medicine. I did it. I did it by myself. I weaned myself off the medicine (I do not recommend anyone doing this on their own…it can be dangerous) I honestly did not believe I could do it. I am struggling of course but I am finally happy again because I have never been more proud of myself. That is why I am starting this blog. If I can be happy with chronic pain anyone can be. I never want to give up on myself again. I finally know I can manage this the rest of my life and I hope to reach as many people as possible to help them as well. My blog is called No One Gets Flowers for Chronic Pain because sadly we do not. Its not like getting your tonsils out and everyone sends cards and flowers. People living with chronic pain deserve flowers every day. Well there is a lot more to tell about myself and I will keep reaching out hoping to share with the world what I do to manage my constant pain and remain happy and be a mother and wife.


3 thoughts on “A little bit about myself

  1. I’d love to know how the Mayo handled their Pain management course. I did one, a big 2 weeks! I’m not kidding and I left feeling like I was a deliberate junkie because I was still on pain meds, and hopeless. I hate the roller coaster but haven’t found a ‘cure’. Now I have Lyme disease as icing on the cake. I often wonder if there is a way of managing this, but alas, no insurance now. I’m glad I read more of your back story. Looking forward to keeping up, Blessings Susanx

    • Hi Susan!
      The Mayo Clinic Pain Rehab Center was about four weeks and their philosophy is the opposite of taking pain medicine etc. Most people in my chronic pain groups (including myself) had been on and off every medication possible and been through every procedure etc to find a cure for their pain. Pain medicine can only last so long until you need more and more for the same affect. Email me anytime and if you have any questions on how I manage my pain plssss ask!!! That’s why I am here!! Thank you for reading, hope I can help in some way!!

      • Thank you so much – email will be coming. I need to get this under control… I know I’m running out of steam and since they stalled in diagnosis I can’t get insurance to cover any ‘treatment’ any longer.They sure want everyone to be healthy!
        Blessings Susan

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